


Star Constellations in Your Eyes

by Norachandrabbles (orphan_account)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Heavy Angst, High School, Love Triangles, Masturbation, Multi, Not Canon Compliant, One-Sided Attraction, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rare Pairings, Tags Contain Spoilers, aromantic kuroo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-22
Updated: 2016-03-04
Packaged: 2018-05-15 06:06:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 33,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5774308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Norachandrabbles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A story about how a blind owl lead the way to a crow, a slow paced story and long one at that.</p><p>This work is dedicated to <a href="http://w1zrad-art.tumblr.com/post/138765319540/hello-im-the-only-other-nerd-that-ships-it?utm_medium=email&utm_source=html&utm_campaign=ask_answer">w1zrad-art</a>, who drew an amazing TsukiBoku strip upon my request.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! This is my first time writing fiction over already-existing characters so I hope you will like it. Maybe you'd like to stalk me or have a request/prompt you want to share? Here's my [Tumblr](http://allthefujoshiunite.tumblr.com/)
> 
> So, I don't know how many chapters there will be, as far as my outline goes, it will be around 6 or 7. The tags that reveal spoilers will be added gradually, the story will cover characters' high school time (the timeline going in the original work) through their university years. 
> 
> This first chapter is basically a summary of what is there in the original work with a rather major deviance at the end, I had to write it to set the mood for the story, I hope you won't get bored reading about the stuff you already know. I cannot promise that everything you read here is devoted to their original designs. 
> 
> TsukiBoku is my OTP and honestly, idea for the story came to my mind while I was reading M. Foucault (strange enough) his writing evoked a lot of other ideas. There will be literary quotations or references throughout the story but I'll do my best to elaborate them on the end notes and I'll recommend one song for each chapter at the beginning of it, fitting the mood. I thought it would be nice since Tsukki always listens to music with his earphones.
> 
> Song for the chapter : [Purity Ring – Push Pull](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiV0RN0mPSk)

“I really wonder if it could get anymore troublesome.” Tsukishima thought to himself. A nice breakfast might be able to make him get up on his feet but a trip to Tokyo, for training on top of that, was really something out of his league.

Trying to accommodate the rules or general atmosphere around you is always tiring, no matter who you are and seeming like he was excited to play volleyball in a gym full of enthusiastic high school adolescent boys was the hardest for Tsukishima that morning. While mumbling himself and getting lost in his train of thought, he was woken up by Nishinoya's hands pushing him to the direction of the locker room.

Take off your shirt, wear the uniform, take off your pants, wear the shorts, wear your kneepads, take the towel and leave immediately the crowded and noisy locker; this was Tsukishima's usual routine. He calmly walked to the gym, bowed while entering, he could already smell the testosterone and enthusiasm in the air, just like Hinata would smell salon pas. Only people he knew were Nekoma players, other teams were completely strangers. He lightly greeted the ones he were familiar with and found himself a silent corner to mentally be prepared for training, trying to convince himself that hopefully it will be over in an instant.

He couldn't be more wrong.

Apparently, they would have matches throughout the day and penalties were given to the losing team. That could mean only one thing: these two days Tsukishima was going to experience true hell because, obviously, Karasuno was the weakest team amongst others. Their first match was with Fukurodani Academy and just as he expected, it was their loss. While doing the driving drills, he was uncertain why he was sticking with this even though he was questioning his every step. In return, without a proper satisfying response, he would continue doing what he had to do together with the team.

During their little break, Tsukishima heard his teammates talking about Fukurodani players; how number 4 was amazing, their setter was almost on par and has a frozen expression like Kageyama ("Dumb ass, Hinata dumb ass!") or how their team was so compact and one of the best in Tokyo. Only then Tsukishima realized, he actually didn't pay attention to any of the opposing team members; their faces, numbers, voices... He only remembered the wing spiker's powerful spikes because it was his duty as a middle blocker to stop those but only that. Still no face or voice whatsoever.

Drinking some water and cooling off from the heat and humidity of the gym seemed like a nice idea, so Tsukishima headed out. The thoughts about being at home and the appeal of reading books was meddling with his head but at this point thinking about home would only make it harder to endure the training so he went back inside, struggling to keep himself tied to the reality. At that moment, he heard Yamaguchi's scream, shouting his name and reflexively, he held up his hand to cover his face.

Fukurodani vs. Nekoma match was continuing and apparently the stray ball came from that direction. The place where ball hit was still throbbing. After applying an ice pack his hand started to get numb, which felt amazing, the heat had really started to get to him. He suddenly heard someone asking “Oi, is your hand okay?”

Tsukishima looked up, then looked at the boy's jersey, “So that's the number 4 they were talking about.” he mumbled.

“Huh? I didn't really hear what you said.” said number 4, while scratching his spiky hair.

“Thank you very much, at least the ball didn't hit my glasses.” Tsukishima answered, even thinking about its possibility was enough to irritate him.

“You are right, it would be really bad. I'm sorry okay? Take care of your hand so it won't swell up.” said number 4 and left him like that. Apparently he had to hurry back so that he could catch the captain of Nekoma, Kuroo, to continue joking around. Tsukishima clicked his tongue, he was a bit annoyed how easily he brushed off a rather serious issue like this. Nevertheless, he was too tired to care for that and just glad everything turned out okay.

" _Only one more day, then we'll be back._ "

★   ☆   ★

  
During the times when he feels like his head will explode and doesn't want to go home, he would stop by a park that is not really on his way, but a park definitely deserved the detour. Isolated, green and silent, he would go there and read or just listen to the city. Today, he had Natsuo Kirino's novel _Grotesque_ with him, he was at a really exciting part too; still, too agitated to read. Not like he was fixated on a specific thought, all the things about volleyball was far behind him. “I guess today's not the right day to read.” he thought, closed the book and stared at the leaves. He felt the sharp and short buzzing of his phone in his pocket. He took it out, it was just a Facebook notification. He started scrolling down aimlessly, passing through people's lives and special memories. “Aren't these supposed to be private moments?” , as he was grunting he stumbled upon a photograph and just stood there frozen, eyes open wide.

★   ☆   ★

That week went by with the talks of “how good the other teams were”. Everyone learned each other's names and seemed to form some sort of bond. Tsukishima was trying his best, he seriously was but still couldn't grasp what was there to fuss about. He was yet to find a proper answer or listen to a different point of view to break his “ _It is just a club which will come to an end after months for some, 1 or 2 years for the others._ ” cycle. Both summer camp and preliminaries were drawing near but as things were getting more and more serious, Tsukishima's desperation only grew.

He trembled under the idea of losing the matches and having to do penalties after every single match. He clicked his tongue and bid everyone good day, putting on his earphones he quietly left the club room.

★   ☆   ★

“Nice serve Kageyama!” While covering the back of his head with his hands, Tsukishima still couldn't accept the fact that Tokyo summer camp had started. He wasn't sure if his nausea was due to the omelet he ate early in the morning or just zealousness and joyful shouts of the players around him but he wasn't feeling his best. It wasn't in his character to get motivated by others or by motivational sentences; it all seemed fake. Though at this point, the image of futon seemed pretty alluring.

With their last sprint to the hill, finally day was over. He grabbed his towel and while everyone started doing their personal training, he sneakily left the gym, heading out for the showers. Flashbacks were coming to him just when he least asked for them; his brother's face would faintly appear, then the image of his trembling back, arching over his jersey, the smell of bentos made by their mother, the time when Yamaguchi first came to check out local volleyball team's training and their second encounter, the summer heat and these little annoying flies, “Aarrgghh!”; he apparently was taking it out on the flies but he was fed up and slapped his arm far too strong.

“Hey you, Karasuno guy with glasses!”. Tsukishima shifted his gaze and saw the energetic duo -Bokuto and Kuroo, even their names were rhymed- plus Fukurodani's setter, Akaashi, standing in front of the 3rd gym. They offered him a blocking practice so Bokuto could also practice his spikes. When Tsukishima kindly declined this troublesome request, Kuroo wanted to let Tsukishima know that he also had something to gain from this practice.

“He looks like this but Bokuto is in top 5 spikers throughout Japan!” This really didn't work on Tsukishima either, he had to push a little more.

“By the way, I saw you today in matches and aren't you a middle blocker? You need to sharpen your skills more!” chuckled Kuroo, his evil grin spread all over his face.

Jackpot, it seems that to get under Tsukishima's skin, you needed to rile him up by criticizing him, he obviously wasn't really interested in how others were doing. While Tsukishima was walking into the gym all agitated, Bokuto gave his bro a thumbs up, getting into others' heads was really Kuroo's superpower.

Practice started and Bokuto immediately thought “He's as stoic as ever, huh...”, looking at the tall, blond guy in front of him. It seems that Kuroo's superpower only lasted for that instant, since the glasses boy regressed to his usual self. The practice wasn't fun and going anywhere even though later on Kuroo joined on the blocking side. Bokuto stopped and wiped the drops of sweat on his face with his shirt.

“Uuhh, okay you certainly are not bad, four eyes, but don't you think you need to try a bit harder? Your arms look so weak I'm afraid they'll pop up from your shoulders! Put more soul in what you do!” said Bokuto in a lively voice, his intention wasn't to demoralize the blond, on the contrary he wanted to raise his spirits. That way, he would also be able to practice better.

Tsukishima knew his way out of this, just find an excuse so they will surely leave it at that. He had to be nice while he's at it, he was an outsider and they were his senpai. “You know, I'm still in the process of growth! So it's...” Kuroo interrupted his excuses :

“You know, it's your choice but if you continue like that, the red head shrimpy in your team will get all the attention. You compete for the same position right?“

He was grinning all the way and it was so sickening that for a second, Tsukishima couldn't look at Kuroo's face. He exhaled, mustered up and smiled for one last time.

“Not like I can help it, Hinata has a natural talent and frankly, he is far above me.”

Thankfully other players from Nekoma showed up, otherwise he could lose himself in an instant and say something wrong or unpredictable. Gathering his last drop of patience, “Now that you have more people to practice, I guess you don't need me anymore. Have a pleasant night!” said Tsukishima and left without ever looking back. He really needed a hot shower and a good night's sleep because he was damn too tired, both struggling with people's expectations from him and his memories popping up whenever they find an opening.

★   ☆   ★

Of course that would be impossible... He let out a sigh, found his glasses and looked around, everyone was still out, he was the only person in the dorm room reserved for Karasuno. He was thirsty and remembered that there was a vending machine in the hallway on the way to the communal bathroom. He put on his team jacket, took some change from his wallet and hoping that he won't be caught, he walked up to the vending machine. Strange enough, there were no signs of people, hallways were dead silent. “All the way better...” he mumbled and bought a can of iced tea.

Hallway was bathing in the moonlight, all thanks to big windowpanes letting it through, it felt so calm and refreshing. There was a plastic bench near the machine, resting here for a while and enjoying the view wouldn't hurt. The trees were swaying slowly in the warm summer wind, making stars visible for one moment but covering them in the next. Tsukishima couldn't be considered as an outdoor person, he would usually spend his spare time in his room or if he feels like it, he would stop by that park. Nevertheless, the scenery looked like an art piece formed all by itself and was extremely beautiful, sentimental, different from the scene of his everyday life. View in front of him seemed so vast; with no ending, only an infinite loop and it was a proof that his train of thought was wrong -everything has an upper limit and one will eventually hit that limit no matter what they do. The fact was evident in the scenery yet he neither was able to get an answer to change his own mind nor do a leap of faith. His interaction with the scenery came undone and he was yet again left struggling with the past, by a familiar voice:

“Oi, four eyes, you still up? I thought you were going to bed.” Bokuto smiled. Apparently Akaashi and Bokuto just got out of bath and were heading to their team's room. “Well, at least you look much better than you do during the training huh? Kuroo is the best when it comes to messing up with people haha, he's a dork to his bones but he means...”

Bokuto stopped talking because the expression on glasses boy's face was troubling. He calmly turned to Akaashi and told him to leave without him in a soft manner. Akaashi was surprised and didn't want to, he looked at Tsukishima, then Bokuto. His eyes were serious about what he said. Akaashi looked at Tsukishima again, left out a sigh and obediently walked away.

Bokuto also got an iced tea, sat next to Tsukishima, opened up the can and took a big sip.

“Fuwaaahh, it really is the best after a long training and nice hot bath, I tell ya'.”

Even his existence was loud. Tsukishima didn't know what kind of face he was making so he tried to avoid facing Bokuto, while he didn't say anything for a while and just enjoyed his iced tea, however it was obvious as hell, Bokuto had something to say. Tsukishima wanted to intervene so he could break the awkward silence but it seems Bokuto also couldn't bear the heaviness of the atmosphere and wanted to get over it.

“Hey, four eyes...”

“It's Tsukishima.”

“Ah okay, I didn't know. So, Tsukishima-kun. What's up with your expressions?”

“What's wrong with my expressions?”

“I'll be frank, you look like you're somewhat constipated every damn time. Is there something bothering you?”

_Okay, he was way too frank, what the hell!_

“That's my usual face, Bokuto-san. I don't understand what you mean, there is nothing wrong. You can leave me be.”

“I don't want to believe a constipated expression to be a human being's usual face structure, c'mon spill it!”

While he said that, he got more comfortable on the bench and laid back, opening his legs more. Now he was literally squashing Tsukishima in between his left leg and the vending machine. Tsukishima looked at Bokuto to see if he was seriously this carefree, it was a question he already knew the answer. Bokuto was facing the scenery with a pleasant grin on his lips since the beginning, without looking Tsukishima's way.

“Please sit straight Bokuto-san, you are squeezing me.” said Tsukishima while lightly smacking the other's leg away. “I'm really okay but it seems like you have something to say to me from the beginning, maybe you should be the one spilling up.”

“Tsukishima-kuun...” said Bokuto, he was still enjoying himself, that made Tsukishima think all the more he was making fun of him. Like an impatient little kid, he was either moving his legs upside down or rotating his feet around his ankles. “... seriously, don't try to dump it on me, it's definitely you who has questions in mind, don't you agree? I'm your senpai, you can tell me anything hahaha!”

Tsukishima slowly began feeling cornered and annoyed, why was he taking this matter so seriously and not letting go? He prepared himself to give in a little, so he would end up as the victorious one in this battle.

“Okay then, I would like to ask you something. Why are you, no, why does everyone try so hard even though what we are actually doing is nothing but a club activity? Almost 80% of us won't continue playing volleyball professionally after we graduate and it will eventually become a fond memory and some photographs, framed and put on the counter. Thinking that everything has an upper limit and there is no merit in pushing that limit, I find myself still amongst the commotion and others' reasons don't click with me. I can't seem to accept something I don't fully comprehend.” Tsukishima stopped, he was talking a bit too much. Because he was looking at the tea can in his hands while talking, he lost track of time and forgot there was someone listening to him.

Bokuto let out a deep hum, indicating that he was listening to Tsukishima and considering his thoughts over. His head first fell front, one arm locked in front and playing with his upper lip with the other. Then he sit up straight and locked his arms completely, all this time his gaze was wandering around in the scenery. His head fell back for a second, then he started talking.

“You know Tsukki-"

“It's Tsukishima for you, Bokuto-san, we are not close.”

"Okay okay, let me answer you with a question. I'm curious about your answer; do you think volleyball is fun?“

Tsukishima clearly didn't expect this kind of query, he might be as well be open about his feelings to see where it will lead.

“Hmm, not really..?”

“Maybe, that's because you suck at it.”

“Geh?”

“Oi, don't 'Geh!' your senpai. I'm way more experienced than you, how about some respect. Man, youngsters these days... Anyway, I've been playing it since I was very little and training really hard but, I could say that I started to think volleyball was fun only very recently. After constantly getting blocked, I practiced like crazy on my straight spikes and next year, the same blockers couldn't even touch the ball. That moment lasted only seconds, however, made me feel like my time was finally starting. Talk about being absurd; 10 years of volleyball practice for a single moment.” he chuckled and stopped for a second. Tsukishima could somehow read from his face that fond memories were rushing through his head, though his eyes were still, casually gazing into the moon. Taking a deep breath, Bokuto continued talking in a calm manner but his tone kept getting more excited along the way.

“Honestly, it all depends on whether if you have that moment or not. I find thinking about the future ahead of me futile, boring and binding. Forget about the next tournament, match or even the next set, everything happens in the moment you are present! Just bring out whatever you have in you and crush whoever you have in front of you as an opponent, only then you'll taste the sweetness of victory. Though, you have to keep in mind that you have to strive, bleed and sweat a lot to get your hands on that moment. Well, that's just me and I don't think you are not wrong when you say 'it's just a club activity', I'm not even sure if my answer would suit you. I can only guarantee that you'll get hooked on volleyball if you can get a hold of that 'second' as I did.”

Bokuto exhaled as he took his towel around his neck, put it beside him and for the first time that night, he faced Tsukishima, directly. Left part of his face was completely shadowed while the right side was lit with moonlight, sometimes due to wavering threes, there were shadows of leaves falling on his face here and there. Still, all of this was nothing compared to his eyes.

Tsukishima only had one thought in mind : it was too much. Bokuto's eyes were fixated on his and like a sharp object, they were cutting into Tsukishima's brain. Even though he tried so hard, like a deer caught in the headlights, Tsukishima couldn't avert his eyes from Bokuto's gaze. His eyes were sparkling in a strange way, that instant he knew what they resembled and remembered the photograph he saw on his feed; an American family had found an owl in their yard one day and immediately noticed that it had strange eyes. They were strange, yet so beautiful, as in a celestial sphere had shrunk and fit in this owl's eyes. Later on, family learned the reason why this owl had star constellations in his eyes, it was blind.

Under the moonlight, Bokuto's eyes shined the same way, Tsukishima could see the constellations clearly. So clearly, he wanted to cry... While staring at Tsukishima with a burning smile and starry eyes, Bokuto almost whispered.

“Stop dwelling in the past so much and spill what's inside of you, okay?”

 

He didn't intend to do it, however, he wasn't able to endure anymore. In the end, his emotions suddenly condensed and turned into water, flooded the hallway and made its way into the ground, slowly seeping into soil. He told Bokuto about Akiteru.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading all the way through! I left the honorifics as it is in Japanese to indicate Bokuto and Tsukishima's approach to each other. I also used 'senpai', rather than upperclassmen because senpai does not only indicate someone who's in a higher rank than you, they are always ones with more experience and are responsible to help and lead the kohai (underclassmen). Not as much as a sensei, but senpai may also take the role of a mentor. I like this nuance but sorry if it's a bit too much. ^^'
> 
> The owl I was talking about in the story is not fiction by the way, it's a cute owl called Zeus and I was dumbstruck just like Tsukishima when I first saw its images (it's possible to find photographs through Google'ing 'blind owl zeus'). I promise you the owl being blind and Tsukishima associating the owl to Bokuto will lead somewhere. On a symbolic context, of course! See you in the next chapter!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rest of the Tsukishima and Bokuto conversation. Also, Akaashi makes a proper entrance into the story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will be a bit short but I will make it up next time! 0TZ Nowadays I am really busy with real life *clicks tongue*. 
> 
> Song for this chapter : [Alt J – Fitzpleasure](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npvNPORFXpc)

Every person had their own ups and downs, not like he was the only person in the world that was betrayed or lied to... Right? It was so stupid that even though what one goes through is so generic or cliche, it doesn't help a bit; still as hard as ever to get over with. Their story was as simple and common as it could get. Enter Akiteru and Kei, two brothers of the Tsukishima household, 6 years apart. Nothing unusual in the household and perfectly conventional older-younger brother relationship. His brother was practicing volleyball in middle school and it was natural for Kei to start practicing it. As a family, they would go to Akiteru's matches. Kei's fondest memories from his childhood were while the match was going on, he would hear spectators praise his brother, saying how he deserved the position as an ace. Witnessing others' impressions of his brother was just another proof of how amazing Akiteru was. His brother was planning to continue playing in high school too, he was thinking about applying to a powerhouse; Karasuno. "He is the ace, of course he would continue in a strong school.". Kei would boast about his brother to himself. He would dream about following Akiteru's steps and going to Karasuno.

His brother was just like his usual self when he started high school. He was as enthusiastic as ever, would always wear team's track suit. Their mother was also doing her best with preparing three course bento everyday. Kei couldn't remember exactly when his brother's actions started to change. Akiteru was always perfect in Kei's eyes, that's why rather than his brothers feelings, Kei noticed changes in her mother's behavior. He felt like her mother started to cook less (though she would still cook for the family so this change didn't seem significant). His brother would still come home tired but... How to put it... different kind of tired, Kei wasn't able to put his finger on. One day, while Tsukishima was talking to Yamaguchi about going to Karasuno's match, one of his friends at school said that Akiteru wasn't a regular at the team. Kei didn't even think about arguing with his classmate because either his brother or his classmate was lying. "Choosing who to trust seemed so obvious." said Tsukishima and paused for a little. Apart from occasional nods and humming, Bokuto was sitting in silence with his arms locked in front. His eyes were fixed on a specific point, faintly frowning. Tsukishima continued.

"Yeah basically, I saw my brother in the cheering squad, he wasn't even a bench-warmer. Not that I would be ashamed of him if he were to tell me that he couldn't enter the team. What I am upset about is the pressure my brother put on himself even though this was just a hobby. It was really... lame, to be honest."

Hallway was so silent that it was possible to hear the wind through windows. Bokuto turned to Tsukishima and asked.

"Hey Tsukki, would you like to hear my opinion about it?" A gentle warmth was radiating through his eyes.

"It's Tsukishima and please, I would like to hear what you think."

It was... strange to hear someone other than Yamaguchi to call him Tsukki.

"Oi, come on now, don't sweat the unnecessary details. You know, I initially thought you were just trying to get by and didn't like volleyball at all, maybe it was obligatory to join a club at Karasuno and you got in involuntarily. Who knew you actually cared about and loved volleyball this much! On one hand, I'm sorry that you had to go through something like this, but on the other hand, I'm glad to see that you've been just searching for an answer. I don't have anything to offer other than my own experience. However, I'd be glad if you could consider what I said thoroughly and join us in the 3rd gym for practice tomorrow night. Oooh maybe, if we were to get a couple of other people, we would have a 3-on-3 match, oohh boy I am already eh... eksh... eeaaachooo!"

That loud sneeze gave Tsukishima a fright and he only then realized that Bokuto's hair was still wet, though he looked like he didn't care much about it. The ace got up and stood in front of Tsukishima, grabbed him by the arms and pulled him on his feet. With a big grin on his face, he slapped Tsukishima's back and continued playfully.

"Yosh yosh, let's call it a night, otherwise we won't be able to fight with all our might tomorrow and frankly, I don't want to oversleep and miss breakfast."

"Ah, you're right. I am sorry for keeping you up for so long and greatly thankful that you patiently listened to me, not to mention you shared your experience. "

"Don't even mention it, I'm your dear senpai after all, mwahaha!"

Tsukishima chuckled; he was just like Tanaka, simple-mindedly getting obsessed over the 'senpai' title. They walked together till they reached at the end of the hallway, it was time to part ways because their teams' rooms were in the opposite directions. They bid good night to each other.

After a couple of steps Bokuto turned back with a sudden, dramatic gasp and shouted.

"Oh Tsukki, your t-shirt design is really cute, by the way. Haha, see ya tomorrow!" He turned and continued walking just like that. Tsukishima wasn't aware what he had on him so he looked down.

"Ugh, you've got to be kidding me." He whispered while rubbing his eyes. He was wearing his favorite T-rex shirt... Talk about embarrassing.

His back was still throbbing, thanks to Bokuto. Tsukishima clearly understood what volleyballs were going through every time Bokuto spiked them to the floor; a really painful feeling. He had his doubts about telling these things to someone and maybe it was a momentary impulse (or maybe Bokuto being a stranger made it easier to talk) overall, he felt lighter.

He was wondering if it was a mere coincidence or a small sign that both Bokuto and Akiteru had number 4 on their jersey.

★   ☆   ★

Bokuto came back to Fukurodani's room on his tiptoes, afraid of waking his friends up. He entered slowly and tried to close the door as quietly as possible. When he turned around, he almost let out a scream after seeing a silhouette. He wasn't really on good terms with supernatural beings.

"You're finally back Bokuto-san, it took you long enough."

_Thankfully, it was a human being!_

"Yeah sorry about that Akaashi. One thing led to another and we kind of lost track of time."

Akaashi had always been a calculating person; not like he was doing it on purpose, he was just thinking about pro's and con's so he could analyze the situation better and act according to what's logical and optimal. He thought about what would be the outcome if he asked the topic of their conversation that kept them for so long. If he asked, he would surely get an answer and since he was curious, this matter wouldn't be bugging him anymore; that would be a relief. However, he also didn't want to sound intrusive. He slowly exhaled and whispered.

"Is it okay for me to ask what was the topic about, Bokuto-san?"

By that time, Bokuto had already changed his clothes and was lying in the futon.

"About volleyball." replied Bokuto.

 _Well, yeah that was obvious._ Since he already decided to ask about it, it wouldn't be logical to leave it like this.

"Did he had some questions for you?"

"Ugh Akaashi, you know how important the breakfast is for a boy like me going on a growth spurt, right?? Give it a rest! I didn't raise my kouhai to be like this. Youngsters thes..."

Bokuto's loud snore roared before he could finish the sentence. Akaashi was surprised and maybe a little annoyed because he didn't came up with a scenario that he didn't get an answer in his head. It was unusual even for someone who is quite emotionally unstable, however dwelling on the issue more than this was also not productive either. He wished a good night for Bokuto and quietly went to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bokuto who keeps saying "Youngsters..." like he's 80 years old is what makes my heart flutter.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added some tags since there is some stuff being revealed in this chapter. Not so openly, but we all know what's going on. *wink wink* (`･ε´-ゞ)
> 
> Song for the chapter : [Anthea – Don't Explain](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QxZRuFK_9t4)

3rd gym's lights were still on after the daily matches. It was Tsukishima's second practice with Kuroo, Bokuto and first with Akaashi. These after practices were going better than he expected and he was learning tips from Kuroo he never heard before during their training at Karasuno. He guessed that, probably because Tsukishima was tall, it was expected of him to be naturally talented about blocking but there were a lot of technical details that would effect a player's result, more than his talent. Even though why Kuroo was giving away even the smallest tips he knew was a total mystery considering they were rivals, Tsukishima appreciated Kuroo's and also Bokuto's efforts dearly. None of them were complaining about extra training; at least it was until Fukurodani's managers came and announced that the cafeteria was about to close. There was a sudden silence followed by a huge stomach growl, filling the gym. It was time to wrap up for tonight. Tsukishima bowed to his three companions, expressing gratitude. Bokuto and Kuroo looked at each other and started to laugh, saying it was unbelievable how he was still so polite and distant. While Bokuto threw his arm around Tsukishima's shoulder, Kuroo locked his arms into Tsukishima's on the other side, forcefully and loudly taking him to grab something to eat.

Rest of the days went by fast and it was apparent that Karasuno was getting better each day. Bokuto and Tsukishima didn't get many chances to talk after that night in the hallway, reason being the training gradually getting harder, since everyday's tiredness were accumulating.

Tsukishima's thought process was still ongoing, however he was definitely aware of the changes both in the way he moves and thinks during the game and his technique getting better. Their last punishment for losing to Fukurodani, that last diving drill felt like the heaven's blessing because finally the summer camp was over. Preliminaries for Karasuno's prefecture was starting right after they return, but what everyone had in their minds were sizzling sound of juicy steaks and sweet smell of grilled vegetables; the rumored barbecue party after everything is finished.

★   ☆   ★

Nekomata sensei was giving a final speech about the camp, though you could see trembling hands holding onto chopsticks and disposable paper plates, drooling all over. Speech was coming to an end, Tsukishima closed his eyes for a second to feel the blissful breeze, brushing past his neck and short hair. When he opened his eyes, picnic area had already turned into a savage forest where the "Survival of the Fittest" principle ruled. The sight both amused and scared Tsukishima, he grabbed an onigiri with some vegetables and meat, went to sit on the stairs at the entrance of the main gymnasium.

Camp was held at Shinzen High School's grounds and Tsukishima couldn't help but feel a little jealous. The yard was so big and full of trees, only down part was this much of greenery was attracting a lot of bugs and mosquitoes. Other than that, if he were to be a student here, he wouldn't need to search for an additional place to read as the park he frequented in Miyagi, he would only need some insecticide. 

Leaning against the wall and stretching his legs with a full stomach felt heavenly. They were finally going back to Miyagi today, Tsukishima was burning with the desire to throw himself on his bed rather than lying on the futon. His body started to get numb, sitting there under the sun and his frame getting warm but by the time he feels hot, the sudden visit of a zephyr. This cycle of getting warm and cool made Tsukishima sleepy, he wasn't able to resist falling into sleep. He didn't know if he slept for a minute or half an hour but he woke up suddenly because he thought the sun got blocked, it was dark.

"Yoo Tsukki, I brought meat, let's eat!!"

Tsukishima's glasses were slid to the tip of his nose, his head fell in front of him. He put them in their place and gathered his legs so that Bokuto could sit. He put the plates he had in his hand between them (though it would not be fare to call those 'plates', they were definitely meat towers) while settling and his body was half facing Tsukishima.

"Hey hey, you need to eat more if you want to endure my amazing spikes, building some muscle will always come in handy in volleyball. You are too skinny, for crying out loud. Is your brother also this tall and thin? I wonder if this runs in the family."

Tsukishima was irked when Bokuto suddenly mentioned Akiteru. However, Bokuto seemed like he didn't mean anything special by it, he was just munching down the meat tower in front of him.

"Not really, my brother is only 3 or 4 centimeters short, but he's more built up than me." replied Tsukishima.

"Oh really? Then you need to look up to him more! He seems to be on the right track when it comes to body. Wait, are you cutting back on food because you are rebelling? Is that it? Are you at that stage already?"

"Don't be absurd Bokuto-san, of course not. I'm eating enough, I don't need to go overboard."

"Sorry but I don't agree..." Bokuto halted and gazed at Tsukishima. He left the almost empty plate on the floor and reached out to Tsukishima, started squeezing his waist area.

"See? All bones! You have to take it more seriously, building some fair amount of muscle also helps preventing injuries."

Tsukishima was so petrified he could only stutter "S.. Se... That's l-like sexual harassment..."

"Huuh? I was just trying to prove a point. Anyways, I need to give you credit though, that block in today's match was sure great! Made me fret for a moment but being an amazing spiker as I am, I was able to find a last second solution and get the point, yeaah! Hahaha."

"Everyone noticed that you got scared and ran away, Bokuto-san. Even you, yourself agreed after Washio-san said you let your guard down." 

"Geh! Back me up and don't ruin the moment for once, will ya! Damn it, why do people always enjoy destroying my mood, just for once..." Bokuto continued murmuring to himself while he's looking at his feet, moving them up and down like a little kid again. At that point, Tsukishima was really curious about this person. He still remembers the time they spent in the hallway and still has hard time believing this 3-year-old sassy lost child might be the same person as the famous ace who is sincere, logical, reliable and frankly, that seems like miles away from Tsukishima in terms of experience. While he was busy calculating the odds of Bokuto having a twin brother, Bokuto interrupted the silence :

"So I was wondering about something. I don't intend to put pressure on you, though. Did that block made you feel like 'your time has come', even a little? "

Tsukishima stood in silence for a second, he was seriously considering what Bokuto has said. 

"I don't think it was something of that sort, it didn't feel like a big moment for me. " said Tsukishima in a low voice. It was almost as if he was feeling guilty of not having the special moment and letting Bokuto down.

"Don't mind, don't mind!" Bokuto beamed, wanted to cheer Tsukishima up because right now, his face was like an open book. " If the idea seems logical to you and you think you might be able to internalize, all you have to do is to keep searching for that. Of course this is not a thing that will immediately pop up.  "

Tsukishima wanted to ask if there was any merit in waiting for something that may never come, he stopped because he didn't want to sound so negative about everything. Instead, he asked Bokuto how he started playing volleyball. This would also change the topic, thankfully, because even though he holds dear what Bokuto offered, he's still not thought everything through. It would be best for Tsukishima to have more time before dwelling deeper about it in front of him.

Bokuto frowned, Tsukishima was uncomfortable, wondering if he hit a nerve, if it was an unpleasa...

"It's really an unpleasant memory." Bokuto hissed. "I mean, I am the mighty spiker Bokuto Koutarou, right??! How on earth it is possible for me to have such a lame back story!"

Okay, it was amazing how easily the subject matter could derail when Bokuto was present. 

"Uhh... I'm not sure I'm followi-"

"Imagine the possibility of me, going professional! Of course, they immediately want me in the national team and I become the number 1 spiker of Japan! Then they want to interview me and ask about the time I started playing volleyball. How can I tell them a lame story like ' _Oooh, my best friend in elementary school was playing so I also joined by luck, and stuck to it._ " Korraaa(*), I need a more dramatic and fascinating back story because the one I have is seriously lame and doesn't suit my impressive characteristics!" 

Now, he was standing, clenching his fists and getting angry at the empty space in front of him. Tsukishima snickered.

"Do you intend to go professional, Bokuto-san?" he asked.

Bokuto straightened, turned around.

"Huh, me? No, actually, I don't." 

What the hell, then what was all that drama just now... Of course, Tsukishima couldn't say anything of that sort. He extended their conversation about future instead.

"Then, what is your plan after graduating, if I may ask."

"I'll be applying to universities, preferably the ones in Tokyo because I enjoy the city and got accustomed to it more than I thought I would. Of course that depends on the result I get from the actual exam, though I am doing okay in the mock exams. I may not look like it but I am really reliable as a senpai, mwahahah! Ugh!! Wait wait, why am I belittling myself, that line is so Kuroo!" he stuck out his tongue like he was puking. Tsukishima giggled and shook his head in disbelief. 

"So, is this true that you started playing volleyball just because your close friend in elementary school started?" 

"Yeah, it is. Nothing magical, am I right?" Bokuto went back and sat next to Tsukishima again. "He was much more energetic and troublesome than me so I guess his family wanted to channel that energy to something productive and less dangerous than going out for adventures, getting lost and hurt. I was always with him and when his family enrolled him in the local volleyball club, I pestered mine about joining the team, too. They didn't object." 

Bokuto looked like he was really fond of those memories, he had a genuine expression on his face. Still, someone more energetic and troublesome than Bokuto? Tsukishima's mind went blank when he tried to imagine someone like that. 

"Which team does your friend play for, now?" Tsukishima wondered.

"Uh, okay, funny thing is... He quit volleyball after 3 weeks or so because he couldn't keep up with the rules and he would feel constrained during training. As for me, I was just there to enjoy my time with my beloved friend. Though, to put it bluntly, I honestly don't know why I stuck with volleyball all this time. I just... went with the flow haha." 

After that, they just sat in stillness, listening to the cheerful background noise coming from the barbecue area and enjoying the cool weather after spending too many hours in poorly aired gyms. Actually, gym's conditions were really good, it was just that there were too many games played consecutively during the day and gym was always packed with too many people, not having a chance for proper air circulation.  The same thought crossed both Bokuto's and Tsukishima's minds: the camp really ended. During training, one would always whine in agony, praying to all existing Gods in the universe for practice to end right at that moment so they would be free from pain but after looking back on the whole week, days full of just volleyball, eating, sleeping and spending time with so many friends, would actually sound pretty awesome. Tsukishima sneakily glanced at Bokuto, he looked so delighted and satisfied. Tsukishima could do whatever it takes to learn how long would it take for his time to come, so he would be able to feel content as much as Bokuto do. 

Bokuto suddenly turned to Tsukishima, with a mischievous grin on his lips. 

"Well Tsukki, why don't you gi -"

 "Hey Tsukishima!" Daichi's shout was able to suppress Bokuto's voice. "We'll be leaving in a couple of minutes, could you help us with the boxes?"

"Yeah, " he answered. "I'll be there in a minute." Tsukishima got up, turned to Bokuto and bowed.

"I cannot express my gratitude for what you, Kuroo and Akaashi senpai have done for me, I deeply appreciate it. Now if you'll excuse me."

"Really, Tsukki. No need to be formal so much, act more like a high schooler and get crazy occasionally, okay?"  Bokuto grinned. While Tsukishima was walking away and taking boxes from their manager's hands, Bokuto waved after Tsukishima and sighed. 

"I should've secretly looked at his ID, seriously, how old is he, is he an acquaintance of my grandpa? Is he my grandpa's bingo night companion?" Bokuto continued talking to himself while he was collecting the left over trash from the school ground. 

★   ☆   ★

After a long parting ceremony, all wet with Tanaka/Nishinoya/Yamamoto trio's tears and snots hanging from their noses, best regards and safe trip wishes, Karasuno team finally was able to get on the bus. Everyone immediately fell asleep, having their stomachs full and their bodies finally relaxed. Tsukishima put on his headphones, searched for the blind owl photograph he had saved in his phone. "It truly is a majestic creature." he thought, contemplating on whether the owl had ever resented being blind or, at least, felt something was wrong with him, in the first place. He rest his head on the cold window with the hopes of his head cooling down a little. He continued sleeping from where he left off from when Bokuto interrupted him. 

★   ☆   ★

Fukurodani was also packing up to go back home. Akaashi was secretly watching Bokuto from afar, constantly doing pro's and con's list in his head and he was getting pretty tired of it, however it was Akaashi's only way to get through his daily life and problems. He wanted to find a way to ask about what Tsukishima and Bokuto talked about during whole barbecue in a way he wouldn't seem invasive. Though, he asked Bokuto about them one time, so that was, maybe, his last chance. 

"Akaashi either speak up your mind or stop staring at me, it's creepy. "

Akaashi woke up from his daydream of lists and answered in a monotone manner :

"Shall we go grab some dessert on our way back, Bokuto-san?"

This time, pancakes were the side which prevailed from the list. 

"Yoshaa!! Is it pancake? Are we going to have pancakes? Mmm, I wonder if I should have it with chocolate or... " Bokuto was already drooling.

"You can decide what to have on our way but if you don't hurry up, the shop will close. You know they are not open until late. " Akaashi reminded him.

"Aye aye, captain!" Bokuto shouted and he went in turbo mode; meaning, he took whatever he had lying around, made a big ball of mess out of them and just tucked it in his bag, humming a song, excitedly. 

While they were walking towards the pancake shop they frequently visit, something happened in Akaashi's favor; Bokuto started talking about Tsukishima. It was mostly trivial things that Bokuto was blurting out of his mouth, still Akaashi was relieved he didn't need to ask about for the second time after that night. 

"I'm telling you Akaashi, I always thought you were the most young-looking-on-the-outside-but-an-80-year-old-on-the-inside kind of guy -no offence- but Tsukishima really is top notch when it comes to looking-young-on-the-outside-but-being-an-80-year-old-on-the-inside. You would surely get along with him. Maybe you'd go to a retirement house and play bingo together mwahahha, I can totally picture you two like that! Anyways, he's also really easy to scare, like a rabbit even though he's supposed to be a crow. Now I wonder if baby crows get easily scared, maybe that would make him a baby crow?" He took out his phone and hurriedly searched for something. He gasped and yelled : "OOHH MY, ONE HELL OF AN UGLY ASS, AHAHAHA!" He was burst into tears, laughing so much that Akaashi actually felt concerned for him, afraid that he might choke on himself. Bokuto held out his phone towards Akaashi and continued laughing, relentlessly. There was a baby crow photograph on Bokuto's phone, so that's what he was searching for. Akaashi couldn't help but snicker because the baby crow was seriously ugly. When Bokuto was able to come to his senses, they continued walking. "Well, they sure are ugly. Nonetheless, now I think Tsukki looks like a baby crow when he's fidgeting, haha." Joy on Bokuto's face while he's talking about Tsukishima was hard on Akaashi's stomach. He was certain that something in his guts was trying to find its way out of Akaashi's body; pressuring and burning him inside, however, Akaashi was as stoic as ever on the outside. He had plenty of time learning the way to keep his emotions in check whenever he's around Bokuto. 

In the mean time, Bokuto was going on and on about how he was able to easily shut Tsukishima out while they were practicing spikes, of course it was until that filthy cat joined them and started to teach the baby crow each and every secret move of the Almighty Horned Owl. He suddenly started to shout "Kurooo, you hear me??! I'll surely get your head next time and tell some of your dirty little secrets to others!! You just wait and see, ohohoho!" 

Akaashi couldn't listen to it anymore because the pain was real. He was holding onto his bag's strap with all his might because otherwise that thing inside him could tear his body apart in seconds. Akaashi needed to tame it, _immediately_. He was always the victor yet today was really not his day. " _I am probably just tired from the camp._ " he iterated the idea to himself several times. 

"Bokuto-san -" he opened his mouth but the words felt like a mud, all slimy and damp, pouring out. " I don't really feel well, after all. I am not even up for sweets anymore, so if you'll excuse me, I'll leave first. Thank you for your hard work during the camp." he literally puked the sentences and without looking back, he walked away from there as fast as he could. There were a lot going on in his mind, however, only one of them were very apparent amongst others. He was sincerely questioning if Akaashi was even a human being in Bokuto's eyes, let alone having feelings or a limit as any other person do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (*) _Kora_ is an expression to get someone's attention in a rude or harsh manner. I like the sound so I left it like that. 
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading. I promise you smut somewhere along the story, too. Though, I prefer things settling by themselves, not to rush so we have time to get there. If you'd stick with me until there, I'd be much obliged *feels useless because of not being able to bring neither excitement nor smut into the story as it is right now*. OTZ


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally we get to know more about Kuroo and Bokuto's relationship. I really enjoy HinaKen nowadays, I wonder if I could squeeze them somewhere in the story! ⁽(◍˃̵͈̑ᴗ˂̵͈̑)⁽
> 
> This song is literally written for the Akaashi I have in mind. 
> 
> Song for this chapter : [FKA Twigs - Papi Pacify](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OydK91JjFOw)

Tsukishima couldn't have enough alone time with his room and especially his bed, prefecture qualifiers were only a few of days away, right after the camp. He was jealous because Tokyo preliminaries were one week later than theirs. When he arrived home, Akiteru was back from the university and greeted him with a lot of questions about the camp. Tsukishima was feeling more relaxed while conversing with him now, he would be a bit stressed out whenever his brother brought up something about volleyball.

★   ☆   ★

Bokuto really enjoyed this time of day. Around 9 a.m., the sun would start to seep in through the blinds, delicately shine on his body. He was bathing under the barely leaking sun, slowly heating up his every muscle and making sleeping for another couple of hours feel amazing. The weather was pretty hot the night before, so Bokuto only slept with his black boxers on. Mustard yellow coverlet was tangled around one of his legs, keeping him warm enough. 

He was extra lucky. Since he just got back from a training camp, his mother just let him dawdle in bed. Normally, she would open the door a little, with only half of her face visible and she would go “Koutarou-kuuuunn...”, while shooting laser beams from her eyes. His mother's most favorite time of day was breakfast and she wouldn't like to spend it alone so she would kind of force Bokuto out of the bed. Not that he didn't like having breakfast with her mother; he just failed to explain her that he wasn't a morning person at all, several times. His eyelids were getting heavy while his body heat was rising slowly.

He couldn't understand if he just closed his eyes for a brief moment or he slept for hours but he woke up with the buzzing sound of his phone. He tried to reach it, lying on the floor next to his bed but his muscles were not functioning properly as of now, he dropped his phone three times while trying to pick it up. He was finally able to answer the call.

“I'll seriously hit you, you know? “ hissed Bokuto.

“Good morning to you, too, dear.” answered Kuroo.

“I'll just tell your dirty little secrets to people and rule the court, you just wait and see!” Bokuto declared but sleep was seeping through the words, rather than determination.

“Oh, I guess you were running and playing in your twisted dreamland, you little Bambi. Anyways, get your ass ready and get going. How are you still in bed? Didn't your mother drag you out for your glorious breakfast session?”

“I guess she pitied me this time because of the training camp. Where am I going by the way? On a special mission? When will I learn about the details? Can I get a latex suit-”

“Oi oi, Kou, chill out, you're wandering off. I thought you saw Akaashi's message. We're planning a get-together today and play some volleyball. Kenma, Lev, Akaashi and Inuoka also agreed to join. We'll be at the court near our school, I already rented it so don't try to blow us off, we'll be able to have 3-on-3 with you and you need to pay your share.”

“I never said I would blow you guys off, what do you take me for! I want to play, too. I'll just get ready aand...” Bokuto looked at the time on his phone, “... with bike, I think I can be there in 40 minutes.”

“Whaa..?” Kuroo was ready to whine about it but Bokuto just cut through his words.

“Don't go complaining, you know I cannot be woken up with just a message, you should have called me up earlier if you wanted me to be there earlier.”

“Yeah, well how about waking up early on your own, once in a while?”

“Man, don't try to fight things you can't change. You're taking my time, bye shithead.”

“You are just fucked up, Bambi. Anyways, we talked about getting something to eat after the practice. If you're up to, bring some extra clothes to change in.” Kuroo seemed like he would go on talking, so Bokuto put him on speakers while he was changing his clothes.

“Hmm, mom will be out today and I don't feel like cooking, so it sounds good to eat out with you guys. I have to come back though, this camp really slayed my usual schedule. I have some catching up to do.” Bokuto half complained.

“Probably catching up with the new episodes of the magical girl anime you couldn't watch during camp haha!” Kuroo was having cramps, laughing on the other side.

“Ugh okay, first of all, I'm telling you like a MILLIONTH time that Madoka Magica is different! It's so touching and the plot is totally captivating.”

“You filthy otaku.” snickered Kuroo. The word 'otaku' wasn't an insult for him, though. He actually enjoyed seeing Bokuto getting serious in every aspect of his life.

“I seriously need to study and make up for the week I lost. And actually you have to do it too, don't you? Don't laze around too much.”

“Ugh our talks always end sour nowadays, moooom, I wonder why!” Kuroo rolled his eyes and feigned annoyance. Even without actually seeing it, Bokuto could exactly picture his facial expressions.

“Seriously, Tetsu I have to get out now or you'll kick my ass even though you were the very reason why I was late. See you at the court.” Bokuto tried to close the topic or the conversation would dissolve into infinity.

“M'kay, be careful with the cars and don't rush.” said Kuroo and closed the phone.

Bokuto looked at the mirror before going out of his room; he didn't have the time to properly style his hair into its usual style; which was a bit unsettling for Bokuto, he was so used to seeing his face in that specific way, however maybe it wasn't so bad to change things here and there. He had a rather loose t-shirt with a wide nape, his favorite red shorts and a hooded sports jacket. He wore his knee pads on his ankles to save a bit of time. He grabbed his bag and was finally ready to roll.

★   ☆   ★

The plan was to have 4 sets of 3-on-3 matches, with 20 minutes break after the second set and it was going pretty fun. Bokuto didn't have much chance to practice with different setters than Akaashi for the past two years and Kenma was totally a fresh breath of air and a great challenge. Both Nekoma and Fukurodani were on their best shape and everyone was feeling ready to handle the stress and tiredness preliminaries will bring. It was time for their 20-minute break and everyone immediately rushed for their bottles because it was really hot and Kuroo being a genius, was farsighted enough to rent an open court in the middle of the day and in blazing summer, his brilliant reason was "because it's cheap".

"Of course it will be cheap you dumbass!" Bokuto hit Kuroo on the shoulder. "What kind of suicidal human being would rent this court at this goddamn hour! I feel like I'm a snail break dancing on salt." whined Bokuto, while wiping his sweat with his towel around his neck, then he bent over to pour some water on his head, he didn't want to get heat stroke.

"Think of it as some kind of training guys, to improve stamina haha!" Kuroo felt triumphant, _imagining_  he found a good excuse for his lame mistake.

"But senpaaii-" cried Inuoka, "if we die, then there is no point of having an improved stamina, don't you agree?"

While everyone was taking their tiredness out on Kuroo by making fun of him, Kenma was on his phone messaging with someone, silently sitting in a separate corner. Kuroo noticed this and hoping to redirect the attention from him to any other possible direction, he called out to him.

"Hey Kenma, who are you talking to? You're sending messages, not playing a game, right?"

"Yeah Hinata just messaged me. Their preliminaries have started, you know." said Kenma in his usual silent manner. But being his childhood friend, Kuroo had a knack for reading his almost non-existent facial expressions.

"Does shrimpy has good news for us? You look excited." snickered Kuroo.

"Mhm." said Kenma, now everyone could obviously see how radiant Kenma's face was. "They had their first match with Ohga Minami today and they won." Kenma smiled, faintly but sincerely.

The air around the court suddenly changed; just a second ago everyone was whining and cringing because it was hot and tiring, yet now the celebratory shouts diffuse into the air, each and every one of them were grinning from ear to ear. Nekoma had a match before the camp so they were vaguely acquainted with Karasuno but camp contributed a lot to their bonds and formed new ones with Fukurodani. Both Nekoma and Fukurodani were happy from the bottom of their hearts. Now it was time for the second round of matches. Everyone was fired up after hearing the good news.

"Ahhh Kou, your spikes were hard on my arms as always, tone it down a little, you maniac!" Kuroo threw his arm around Bokuto's neck and clutched his head playfully.

"Hey hey hey, why should I be the one to stoop down to your level, how about you practice day and night, then maybe you can catch up to me? Hahahah!" Now they were practically wrestling in the middle of the court.

"Bokuto-san, Kuroo-san..." Akaashi sighed, "Would you please help us clean out so it will be done quickly? Everyone wants to eat."

Bokuto rolled his eyes. "Okaaay okaaay, I'm sorry moom, oops I mean Akaashi! "

Akaashi didn't really understand the relation between pointing out the obvious and acting like his mom but surely he didn't want Bokuto to see him as a relative. Maybe it was his facial expression's fault, Akaashi considered the possibility. What kind of face he was making while talking to Bokuto? Not a weird one, he hoped because he couldn't remember exactly.

While Akaashi was having his own struggle with his face, Bokuto went to Kenma and asked about the match between Karasuno and Ohga Minami again.

"So, did they really won?"

"Yeah-" he looked at Bokuto suspiciously, "why would I lie something about that?"

"I wasn't insinuating that you were lying, haha. Just wanted to ask what exactly Hinata said in his message." grinned Bokuto.

"Nothing really." said Kenma. Bokuto could literally see the question mark popping on Kenma's head as in cartoons. 

"I was just wondering about the other members as well, I hope everyone's okay, with no injuries and such..." Bokuto was trying to fish out for Tsukishima's condition but now that he thought it over, it would be weird for Hinata to mention others if nothing big happened. 

"I think everyone is okay, he would bring it out if something important happened. Actually, there is more information in his texts about the place they were going to eat than the match itself." chuckled Kenma. 

"Ah I see, I'm glad. Then let me ask, do you only have Hinata's number from Karasuno?" Bokuto was direct. 

"Yeah, who's number do you need?" Kenma was wondering who might be the subject of Bokuto's curiosity, so much that he needs this person's number. 

"I was actually wondering how Tsukishima is doing." said Bokuto in a concerning manner. "We had a chat about his take on volleyball and I offered him a piece of mind so I am troubled about how he's doing. Could you get his number for me from the shrimpy? I'd owe you one." Bokuto winked at Kenma, trying to look cute. Kenma was irked.

"Bokuto-san please don't try to look cute, you're scaring me. And honestly, I cannot imagine you giving advice to anyone about volleyball... As for his number, why didn't you ask him at the camp yourself, it's troublesome for me."

"Buuu, you're no fun Kenma-chan!" Bokuto locked his arms in front of him, pouting. "I actually planned to ask for his number but then Daichi kind of jumped into the conversation, they were leaving. I thought I could get it with the help of my 'friends' (he does the quotation sign with his fingers) and left it at that but obviously I was wrong! Oh, how I am so alone in this world, with no one to cover my back when I'm in despair... With no one to turn to, I continue walking towards an unknown future, my knees bruised from -"

"Ugh okay okay, I'll ask him, just stop being creepy." sighed Kenma. 

"I knew you'd help me, you're the best Kenma-chan!" grinned Bokuto and continued to pack his things up. Where to eat was the hot topic in the lockers and while a couple of them wanted to eat grilled meat, others were down for something less heavy, like Chinese noodles with fried vegetables. The heat was starting to show its effects, everyone had little sunburns on their cheeks. Packing up was done and now they were walking to the noodle shop Inuoka frequented and recommended. Each and every one of them were still fired up (okay, maybe except Kenma) and watching them from the back, Inuoka was feeling both blessed to have such friends and sad that it was his last year to be in the same team with Kuroo and have the chance to practice with Bokuto. It was the time where one would wish the time would freeze so that it could preserve its beauty.

"Oii, Tetsu, you have to fight me for the meat!! Stop poking into my noodle with your filthy chopsticks, korraaa!" 

"I'll fight you anytime babe, just text me the time and place!" grinned Kuroo and attacked Bokuto's noodles once more. Now the whole shop was watching the weird group of people fighting over vegetables or meat and exchanging awkward glances, while the noodles were flying and splattering everywhere. Kenma was looking at Akaashi because he would be the one to stop the nonsense normally but he was directly facing his bowl, silently and slowly eating. He wouldn't look the stupid-duo's way, no, it was like he was purposely averting his gaze and keeping it locked on the noodles. Kenma wondered why the sudden change but he couldn't focus on it much because the duo was getting out of hand. "It is high time we'll get kicked out of the shop guys, Lev, please go sit in between and separate them, will you." sighed Kenma. 

"Of course senpai!" cheered Lev and squeezed his big body in between those two. 

"Now that's better." said Kenma, while keeping an eye on Akaashi. Akaashi was in the same position before but now he was just looking at his food, chopsticks loosely hanging from his right hand. Finally he broke his silence and said : 

"If you'll excuse me..." while standing up. He was almost the same color as his white t-shirt and Kenma was worried. He was wondering if he was feeling sick because of the heat. 

"Where are you heading to, Akaashi?" asked Bokuto, eyes as big as a plum.

"Toilet." said Akaashi without even turning back.

"I wonder if we should go check on him." Inuoka asked, distressed. 

"He's been like that for like a week. So the reason shouldn't be the heat." Bokuto explained. "I wonder if he's stressed because of the upcoming tournament. Well, we are going in the same direction, I'll take him home and talk to him, to see if I can learn something. For now, I'll just get him a mineral water, I heard it was good for the stomach." 

Bokuto got up and went to the counter. Putting the mineral water in a glass, he requested a slice of lemon. That instant, Kenma called out for Bokuto.

"Hinata sent me the number, make sure you save it in your phone." he said, while he was handing over his phone to Bokuto.

"Oh, bunch of thanks." said Bokuto, grabbed the phone after leaving the glass on the table. 

"I seriously want to learn whose number on earth you'd get from Kenma." said Kuroo, confused.

"Ah, it's Tsukishima's. Number 11 from Karasuno, the glasses boy." Bokuto explained. Now, Lev was confused too.

"Eeeh, you were close with him, Bokuto senpai? I never noticed at the camp." 

"Not really, we chatted for a while and he was seeking a bit of advice from me, so I was wondering how he's doing after the match.". While talking, Bokuto was trying to figure out how infrared works so he could send contact info from one phone to other but he gave up in the end because apart from his music player and Play Station, he was always on bad terms with technological devices. 

"Probably because you're a volleyball freak." snickered Kenma between his lips.

"Hey, it's because I'm a genius, duh!". With this, he was able to save the number in his phone and gave Kenma's back. 

Finally, Akaashi was out. 

"Did you throw up?" Bokuto went near Akaashi and asked in a soft voice, while handing out the mineral water. He had a concerned smile on his lips; that was the very reason Akaashi was sick to his stomach.

"Oh... No, I just washed my face. Thanks for this, Bokuto-san." Akaashi was not able to face Bokuto; he went back to the table while clenching on the glass. There was a serious breakdown in Akaashi's train of thought. He should be happy, right? Bokuto was acting all nice and caring to him, he should savor the feeling while he had the chance, right? "While I have the chance..." thought Akaashi to himself. That was the crucial point. A chance was all he had; some spare time from Kuroo or Tsukishima, from school or volleyball, just a tiny span of his attention, leftover scraps of his kindness. He tried to make a list, pro's and con's, they would never fail. He was just damn fed up.

"Alright I think I'm done for today!" said Bokuto while grabbing his bag. "Akaashi is coming with me, I'll take him home so you can do whatever you like; apart from you, bedhead, you should also go home and study.". Akaashi wanted to intervene by saying he didn't need to but he didn't even have the energy to open his mouth, let alone to speak. 

"See? SEE? It happened again!" yelled Kuroo. "Every time we have a conversation, and I mean ANY conversation, in the end it leaves a bad aftertaste!" Kuroo was seriously depressed because what Bokuto said had truth in it. 

Bokuto also grabbed Akaashi's bag and waved everyone while leaving the noodle shop, then got his bicycle from where he parked it. Akaashi tried to object several times, saying he could carry the bag himself, he got the same answer every time, that he should just enjoy the perks of being sick. They walked in silence for a while and as always, Bokuto was the first one to break the silence. 

"So, Akaashi. Would you like to talk to me?" Bokuto's smile was too bright for Akaashi's eyes.

"I'm okay, Bokuto-san, the heat must have-"

"I don't think you should blame it on the heat because you were the same when we were returning from the camp. Are you stressed out because we have an important tournament?" 

Finally his pro's and con's list got back on its gears, though what was the use? Were there any possibility of him telling Bokuto that he was jealous of others? Rather, he tried to convince himself that Bokuto was the usual Bokuto, it was nothing new for him to be affectionate towards other friends. He decided to stick with convenient lies.

"Unconsciously, maybe? I don't know about that. My stomach is acting up nowadays, that's why I suddenly left the other day, too. I'm sorry it was abrupt, but I needed to rest."

Akaashi managed to start talking logically again. Fresh air and being alone with Bokuto helped him to calm down. 

"Don't worry about the other day. Please don't push yourself too much okay?" beamed Bokuto and ruffled Akaashi's hair. It was more than enough to send an electric shock down Akaashi's spine.

"Man, I really have so much to catch up!" Bokuto wanted to change the topic. "Thinking about all the assignments and mock exams really gives me cramps. I know this is the path I've chosen for the future and I'm content about how everything is going overall, well, otherwise I wouldn't be able to continue this way. Nevertheless, people should have the right to occasionally bitch about the path they've chosen, am I right? Uh, every time I think about this topic..." Bokuto stopped halfway and stretched. "Well, as I always say, no use of thinking, I guess?" he winked at Akaashi.

"I guess, you are right..." They were in front of Akaashi's house. Bokuto gave Akaashi's bag back to him and instructed him through and through on how to put his health on track. He wouldn't leave before getting an affirmative answer from Akaashi, so he promised Bokuto to keep himself warm and rest well. Bokuto waved and wished him well, continued walking towards his home. Akaashi stood there and watched Bokuto's broad back until he vanished at the end of the street and turned left. Be it during a match or seeing him hanging around with his friends; Bokuto's shoulders always seemed like a safe place, where one could always rely on, no matter what happens. Yet, it was another selfish thought because in the end Bokuto was a human being, too. Where would he lie his head for comfort when he would be in trouble, call it his 'safe place'? 

★   ☆   ★

As always, Hinata didn't forget to inform his long-distance friend Kenma about the result, right after the match with a text. Sometimes Hinata would think about their relationship. He would always message Kenma about something he thinks is important and get a reply of few words. It was just like Kenma, so he wasn't troubled over his short replies but he would think if Kenma was considering him annoying and his replies were out of courtesy. Hinata would surely be sad if this was the case. While he was idling in his thoughts, other members were already done packing and were leaving him behind. Hinata hurriedly stuck his leftovers in his bag and ran after his teammates.

After the match, to celebrate their first step towards victory, Karasuno members went to a fast food restaurant together. The joy and excitement of winning the match was now a feint feeling; their eyes were already focused on tomorrow's match with Jouzenji. Hinata was almost taking a bite from his burger when his phone buzzed in his pocket. Normally, Kenma wouldn't send an additional message, Hinata wondered who could it be. He cleaned his hands with a napkin, took out his phone and gasped loudly; it was Kenma! Everyone at the table was looking at Hinata with question marks on their faces but Hinata just nervously smiled and apologized. Then, furiously opened his phone, hoping something bad didn't happen. Content of the message was much more confusing than Kenma sending texts more than necessary.

"Uh... So, I wanted to ask... Do you have your number 11's phone number?" 

" _Of course I don't, what's up with him..._ " thinks Hinata to himself and asks the reason. It wasn't the best feeling, being in need to ask ~~Tsukishima's~~  his rival's phone number out of the blue...

While walking back home, Hinata, approached Tsukishima, all fidgeting. Tsukishima glanced at Hinata without turning his head, took out his headphones and asked. 

"Why are you all fidgeting?"

"Uhh... U-uh... You s-see..." Hinata was kind of afraid of Tsukishima without even knowing why. 

"What is it?" asked Tsukishima again. 

"P-p-please give me your number!!" Without realizing, Hinata shouted at the top of his lungs, his voice even echoed throughout the neighborhood. 

"Why should I give you my number, what's your intention?" Tsukishima was in his calm manner, he wasn't trying to bash out Hinata but apparently Hinata was taking it the wrong way. 

"It's actually not for me, Kenma messaged me about Bokuto-senpai wanting your number, that's why I'm asking. You know what they say, don't shoot the messenger! Please!" Hinata brought his palms together in front of his forehead, in a praying posture. 

Tsukishima was really surprised. He was counting the reasons why Bokuto would need his phone one by one but only emergencies and prank phone calls from him and Kuroo came to mind. 

"Please stop shivering, I'm not some kind of demon." Tsukishima clicked his tongue. "Is your infrared open? I'm sending my contact info through there"

"Yes, it's open. And now it's done. I'll deliver your number to Kenma now." said Hinata and ran back next to Nishinoya, while Tsukishima was putting his headphones on. Wondering about the reason wouldn't do any good, all he had to do was wait for Bokuto's call or text including -probably- the most absurd things. 

★   ☆   ★

Strange enough, Tsukishima got neither calls nor messages from Bokuto for the next two days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo and Bokuto calling each other Kou and Tetsu is so precious! I like how their conversations can be about anything and everything, they could argue about the most trivial in a manner like it's the most important thing in the world. Their relationship seems so natural and flowing out in its own pace. I enjoyed writing their phone talk at the beginning, haha. ( ᐛ )و
> 
> Thank you, as always, for reading. Please feel free to drop a comment or constructive criticism if you think I'm being at fault in any part. See you at the next chapter!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter majorly consists of two parts and we finally get to see Tsukishima, Bokuto and Kuroo interacting in the first part and Bokuto-Akaashi interaction in the second.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter came out LONG, but I didn't want to divide it into two in order not to break the momentum. There is a big time skip and since I don't know how the Tokyo preliminaries or Nationals will go (and frankly with Nekoma vs Fukurodani thingy, I don't even want to know) I chose to omit the results and just focused on the graduation process of 3rd years. There may be skips later on in the next chapters too, I hope it won't turn out weird, bear with me please. OTL
> 
> For first part : [Jens Lekman - A Little Lost (Arthur Russell cover)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1C2jTrC4ezI)
> 
> I have a separate song for Akaashi this time : [Tool - Lateralus](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDlC7oG_2W4)

Tsukishima found himself considering the possibility of not taking out his headphones while he was getting changed into his jersey. Obviously it could get messy and tangled, but would surely be a better option than to hear Hinata and Kageyama's endless, idiotic rambling; it was a risk he was willing to take. He put his belongings into the locker and was locking the lid when he heard a buzzing sound. He looked around if it was someone else's phone but no, it was coming from his own locker. He opened the lid back and took out his phone from the side pocket of his bag.

An unknown number... Tsukishima contemplated on whether to answer it or not because the training was about the start and he didn't want to be late. He looked around in the locker room; others were still in the phase of getting undressed so he thought it would be alright to take the call, he could always say that he was busy and end conversation early.  

"Hello?"

"Hello Tsukki! Wanna block for us? Hey hey heeey!"

"Huh? Are you high on something Bokuto-san?"

"You really can't take a joke, Tsukki. It's all because of those bingo nights, you should stop going, you are rotting inside!" 

Seriously... Bokuto's logic would start from A and spiral down until Z in a split second but he would only articulate the outcome, so his answers always seemed erratic and not related to anything. Tsukishima got used to it (too fast, for his own convenience) and he could vaguely figure Bokuto was insinuating that Tsukishima was old. He sighed and went out of the room, started walking towards the gym, changing room was too noisy. 

"Too bad for you that I don't know how to play bingo. I can only play some PS games and I think it kind of proves that I'm a healthy growing teenage boy?" Tsukishima snickered. "So, what was the reason you wanted my number, Bokuto-san?"

"Ah yes, from the shrimpy. Wanted to talk to you about a few of things, do you have time or am I bothering you?" Bokuto asked, he sounded more serious than before. 

"Actually, I was about to enter the gym, we have training today." 

"Aah, I see. I waited until now thinking you'd be finished with classes but since today's our day off here at Fukurodani, I never thought about your training. Okay then we can continue another time."

"If you don't go to bed too early, I could call you after the training?" Tsukishima proposed. He was quite curious what Bokuto-san wanted to say. 

"Oh, please do! I don't go to bed early at all, even if I want to, haha!" His voice was so cheerful, it actually lightened up Tsukishima's mood too. 

"Alright then, after training. I'll call you as soon as it ends. Oh by the way, is this your phone number?" 

"Okay, will be waiting. Yeah, I'm calling you from my cell, you can save it. Be careful not to get injured, take care!"

"Okay, you too." 

Tsukishima let out a big sigh. This one was brief, thanks to training but phone calls had always made Tsukishima nervous. He would be extremely tense just by thinking about the awkward pauses or not being able to hear the other side or interpret things in a wrong way because he cannot read the other party's reactions through only speaking; he was amazed at people who were able to go on and on about trivial stuff for hours. He could never do it.

" _Will I really be alright tonight..._ " His palms were already sweating, imagining how hard he'd fail.

Trying to focus on his surroundings didn't help. He was having hard time keeping his concentration on the court and even got scolded by the annoying shrimpy one time for being distracted and clumsy. How could he not be distracted? He was trying to form every possible conversation he might have with Bokuto so he wouldn't stutter or have deadly silent moments, diverging into infinity. This just came in; Tsukishima Kei was not suitable for multi-tasking, at all!

After doing the stretching he went back to lockers and immediately got changed. It was around 9 p.m., he didn't want to call Bokuto at a late hour. He mentioned about wanting to apply for universities and doing good on mock exams, so he must be studying a lot; it must be tough, Tsukishima thought. He had some plans for the future too, though he had nothing but time in his hands. He could take it slow and pave his way.

He was done faster than everyone, he didn't want people talking loudly in the back and making the talk more painful than it already will be. He said his goodbyes and was leaving the room when Yamaguchi called out his name. 

"Hey Tsukki, if you want, wait for ten minutes so we can go back home together, what do you say?"

"Sorry Yamaguchi, tonight I'm in a hurry, maybe next time." Tsukishima retorted.

He thought his sweat should already have cooled off but stepping outside and shivering under the night breeze, made him take out his jumper from his bag. He noticed he perspired more than he usually did today, did he have a fever or was it just because he has been fidgeting nervously? He took out his phone, took a deep breath, held it in, skimmed over the possible conversations list one more time and dialed Bokuto's number.

*1*

*2*

*3*

*4*

*click*

He let the air out he was holding in. Tsukishima waited enough, but Bokuto didn't pick up the phone. _4 dial tones was enough, right?_ He probably didn't hear it ringing or he may be already sleeping. The image of Bokuto leaning over his books, snoring and drooling, was suddenly very vivid in front of Tsukishima's eyes and funny enough to make him laugh out loud. He stopped and looked at the stars, then his watch, considering doing a detour to the park. The unsettling feeling made him erratic and moody, he wanted to head home all of a sudden. He was a little... how to put it, disappointed about missing the chance to talk to Bokuto. Hands in his pockets, he continued walking in silence. He was in a daze, surprised when he reached the front door safe and sound, it would usually take him 25 minutes to arrive. He was dragged back to reality with the vibration of his phone, tingling his leg. He felt a warm feeling rushing through his limbs and finding its way out of his pores; it was Bokuto calling. 

"Tsukishima?"

"Yes, Bokuto-san?"

"Ahh, I'm glad I caught you, sorry I dozed off on my books without realizing and didn't hear you call! Oh wait... I didn't wake you up, right? Shit..."

"No not at all, I just arrived at the front door, if you can wait a second, I'll take off my shoes and go somewhere I can talk to you comfortably."

"Of course, I'm waiting." 

They didn't cut the connection. At first, all Bokuto could hear were rustling noises. Then he heard Tsukishima's lively "I'm home!" call and his mother's reply through speakers. Next, it was a male voice, different than Tsukishima's; possibly his brother. He was asking about the training but Tsukishima brushed the topic off, saying he was on the phone now. Bokuto smiled, envisioning the Tsukishima household. Seemed like a cozy place, though on the outside every household was the same. "Humans learn only through experience, huh..." he thought to himself.

"Bokuto-san, hello?" Tsukishima was out at the veranda. 

"Oh Tsukki, welcome back! When did your training end, it's quite late."

"It ended around half past 8, I changed my clothes and then called you."

"Hm, so it takes half an hour to get to the house? Pretty close, good for ya."

"Yes walking feels nice, especially when the weather is this good."

_Conversation was going smooth, right?_

"Oh oh, yeah. So first of all, congratulations on your successful first step! We were at the court with Kuroo and some other fellas from our teams, playing volleyball when Kenma shared the news. It was your shrimpy who texted him. Every one of us were so happy for your team, you really deserve it. Who is your next opponent?"

"Thank you for the kind words. Uhm, If I remember correctly, it is Wakunan."

"Sorry, never heard of them so I have no information or dirty secrets for you to step on haha. I also wanted to check on you because both Kuroo and I may have pushed you too much with all the jokes and training, how are you holding up?"

"I am doing okay, neither my arms nor legs fell off after the camp, thankfully." Both of them chortled. "Volleyball is okay, classes are smothering me with all the assignments and projects though. How are you doing? Both volleyball and studies-wise."

"Volleyball is stressful, I think the whole team started to feel the preliminaries' tension in their bodies. Since we've been to nationals last year, or at least we were in the best four almost every year, the expectation is high; everyone just wants to repay the support they are getting by doing their best. Study-wise... It's really tiring, as you say. Sadly, we have to ace these so we can achieve the things we want for ourselves later on in life. "

"Is it okay for me to ask what are you going to study, Bokuto-san?"

"Tsukkiiii! Just hit me up with whatever you have in your mind, if I feel uncomfortable I won't answer. Geez, you really are weird... So, the major. I want to apply for the maths program in a preferably good university. I plan on becoming an academic, maybe? I mean, I'd like to become one but the hurdle is so... Argh, anyways, I'll see what university will offer me and what can I do about it, so I should just focus on the entrance exam I guess. What about you, have any plans in mind for the future? "

"Yeah I plan on going to university, too. I don't have a specific city in mind like you do, though."

"Nice! Major?"

"Care to guess?" 

"Hmm tough question since I don't know you too well... Mmm, I think you'd study philosophy or psychology so you could still continue giving your ' _over the glasses look_ ' and judge people, however now you'd be entitled to do it because you have a diploma! Bwahahah!!" Bokuto burst into tears, he was trying to suppress his laughter but clearly failing. 

"Well, glad to hear your opinion of me, thank you. Strangely you're not that far... I want to study.. uh.. literature." His voice made a decrescendo, almost vanishing at the end. He didn't know why but he always felt uncomfortable telling others that he enjoyed or wanted to study literature. He personally didn't think it was embarrassing, however people around him thought it was. 

"Tsukki are you for real!?? That's so cool! I'm really no good with words even though I enjoy reading but I especially admire people who are talented in the fields that I am not, so impressive!" 

"You don't even know if I am talented or not."

"Hold on a minute there. I have seen your sass level during the camp and believe me, you have enough to make you go through university..." 

"Okay, was that supposed to be a compliment? I think it just slipped somewhere, I couldn't catch it."

"See? You're already at it, ahaha!"

Tsukishima could record Bokuto's laugh and use it like a healing potion whenever he was feeling down.

_Wait, this could be counted as stalking, right?_

"Naah, I think it's nice to have a goal ahead of you and frankly, it suits you. Not that you asked but, a word of advice from your beloved senpai, from where I stand what you solely need to do is to be more focused and if you try not to stray too much, I think you're bound to do great things, Tsukki. You have great potential."

" _Did I just melt and turned into water?_ " What he had was definitely not fever but the sensation was getting worse with every word coming out of Bokuto's mouth. It... was too much. How was he supposed to reply to that? He didn't think he would hear something like this and clearly wasn't prepared, what was he supposed to say? The silence was getting longer and lo n g e r and it was unbearablebutheseriouslydidn'thaveanyanswerwhatwashesupposedtosaywhatwasthetopicwherewasheagain--

"Oi blockhead, don't get all shy on me now, I'll kill you. You're acting like I proposed to you, don't make me feel embarrassed." Bokuto sighed in a different tone but Tsukishima didn't know what to make out of that reaction.

"There was another reason I contacted you." he continued. "As you know, me and Kuroo are 3rd years now and our school's graduation ceremony is like a big festival at the end of each year. Kuroo attended the previous years' ceremonies too, it's open to public. I guess school gets really excited over kicking our butts out. Anyways, there will be more people from Nekoma this year, like Kenma or Inuoka, so I wanted you to let Karasuno know that we're inviting you. It's a great chance to get together if you ask me, you have a lot of graduating members, too. It would be fun to hang out all together, what do you think?"

Thankfully the weather started to get colder or he was sweating damn too much but the breeze helped Tsukishima to gain his consciousness back and cool off. He was finally able to reply without sounding weird.

"Yeah, of course. Tomorrow is our day off but I'll let them know the next time we have training. And... uh..."

"Hm?"

"Th.. Thank you..." He felt like he was trying to swallow a whole apple down.

"What I said were mere facts, you don't need to thank me. I'm not telling you to get crazy like Hinata or anyone else, go at your own pace. You just need to live up to your own potential."

_Fuck, why was Bokuto's voice getting all soft and fuzzy now!_

"I understand. By the way, is the date set for this festival? So that I can let others know and... make sure that I d-don't make any other plans... and such..." 

"Mmm... I think I was told about the date? I don't remember though, I can ask others tomorrow and let you know over the text, is that okay?" 

"Yes, that's convenient." Tsukishima paused. He didn't want to end it here but they were talking for 10 minutes now, was it okay for them to continue? Tsukishima closed his eyes, mustered up and asked.

"S-say, Bokuto-san... You said you enjoyed reading, do you have a favorite author or genre?"

"Hmm, I think I don't have a favorite genre, though I don't fancy crime novels, thrillers or fantasy too much. As for my favorite author, I recently enjoyed Virginia Woolf's works."

"So you enjoy reading stream of consciousness?" Tsukishima was a bit surprised.

"It really is tough talking with a literature enthusiast." Bokuto chuckled nervously, getting embarrassed. "Is that supposed to be a literary style?" 

"Yes, it is a narrative mode that was foreshadowed by  _Tristram Shandy,_ a novel written by Sterne and Woolf is one of the modernist writers who took it to great lengths alongside with Joyce! And th-..." he gasped. "Sorry, I got carried away..." Tsukishima's heart was pounding too hard in his chest, how could he go on like that? Blabbering on stupidly...

"You know..." Bokuto sighed and this time Tsukishima could understand his tone: he was fed up. "... I'm really fed up with the way you act. Why do you always stop yourself in the middle of talking? Is it because of me or do you do this to everyone?"

"I.. I really didn't-"

"Well, you may mean well and think that you're being considerate of the other other party but you're actually not. It's kind of disrespectful stopping midway and choose not to speak even though I was learning stuff about one of my favorite writers and wanted to hear more. Sadly, you don't get to decide your side of the interaction Tsukki, you just put yourself out there and have to leave the rest for the others. Others are the ones who choose how much they will share after interacting with you. Sorry I am kind of lecturing you but I don't really like people deciding things for my sake. So, how about telling me more about Virginia Woolf? I'm all ears." 

He could 'hear' Bokuto smiling over the phone however Tsukishima himself was on the verge of tears. His vision was getting all blurry and ears were suddenly not functioning anymore. All he could think was to apologize over and over again but that would just make Bokuto more angry. He couldn't contain it all in him anymore.

" _The waves broke on the shore 1_..." 

"Oh my Tsukki, _Waves_ was the best! I can't do a deep literary analysis or something of that sort but the way Woolf put those 6 friends in relation throughout their lives and the symbolism she used, brought me to tears, whole book was so intense! Can you recommend another one that is similar to it? I'd be more than happy."

"Uhm, you can read Joyce's _Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man _2__. Joyce uses the same narrative mode and goes through a person's life stage by stage, I think they are on similar grounds." He was biting down on his lip, hoping he doesn't sound weird in any way or his voice won't crack.

"Uh huh... Thanks, I noted it down. I may not have the time to read immediately but I will definitely check it out. Have you read this one?"

"You mean Joyce? Yeah."

"Great, then when I finish we can have a discussion about the book or you can help me with the parts that doesn't make sense to me. I'm looking forward to it!"

"Then... Is it okay if I come to you for help when I have trouble with math?" 

"I wonder how I could help you over the phone when it's about math but we'll find a way out, no worries. Please take care of me from now on, hahaha." 

"Please take care of me, too." 

"It's getting kind of late I should get going. I have tons of things to revise. I'll ask about the date of our ceremony and let you know, okay?"

"Alright, thank you for inviting us. It would surely be nice to give you a farewell party altogether, we may not have a better chance."

"Don't put it like that, Tsukkiii, you'll make me cry. Anyways, thanks for the conversation and take care."

"I should be the one to thank you, for all the nice comments you made. I had fun."

"Good night."

"Good night, Bokuto-san."

Just... Wait... Wait a second... It all started to dawn on Tsukishima now but they were talking about graduation, right? The heaviness of the word "farewell" was slowly sinking into him. It really was a farewell. Not only to Asahi, Sugawara and Daichi, but also to Kuroo and Bokuto. Not like they were flying off to a different solar system the moment they are over with school but it surely felt like their worlds were separating to Tsukishima. They would have completely different problems and struggles through life, different schedules and holidays, apart from the national celebrations. It felt so awkward... He wasn't ready to severe ties he just established. Tsukishima slid and lied down on the veranda, exhaling in exasperation.

_Their worlds were surely separating._

★   ☆   ★

Tsukishima thought it was a bit weird when Bokuto used big words like 'festival' about the event but now he realized that it was actually an understatement. School ground was full of food and drink stalls, little games, family members, alumni and students from different schools. Some of the Karasuno members had family obligations to fulfill so the group was like this : Tsukishima, Asahi, Sawamura, Sugawara, Tanaka, Hinata, Shimizu, Yachi and Ennoshita. Kuroo, Kenma and Akaashi welcomed them at the gates and Kuroo informed everyone that Bokuto cannot join them for the next hour or so because he is busy with the preparations. Sawamura reminded Karasuno members that they needed to be at the gate by 5 o'clock, they had to catch train back home, other than that everyone was free to do whatever they want. With Lev, Kenma and Inuoka joining, everyone strolled around the fair, had some noodles to eat and played games. It was a first time for everyone to see others in their school uniform and they were trying to sneakily glance at each other but it was so obvious that they were checking each other out.

Hinata and Kenma were in their own world already; to be more precise Kenma was in his world and Hinata was accompanying him. He would occasionally comment on his play and Kenma would cheerfully respond to him, other than that they were mostly silent, apart from Hinata's occasional squeaks, of course. Tsukishima was in the mood for sweets, so he got himself a cone of ice cream and wanted to rest under the shade a little, the heat started to affect his skin. Hinata and Kenma wanted to do the same so Kuroo decided to keep Tsukishima company and let others wander around a bit more.

There was a nice wooden bench under a large maple tree. Kuroo and Tsukishima sat on the bench while Kenma and Hinata were getting cozy on the lawn. Tsukishima leaned on his elbows he put on his knees, while Kuroo stretched out his legs and leaned on his left arm with ice cream of his own in the other hand. 

"Um, Kuroo senpai-"

"Just Kuroo is okay. I see that you're still like an old man, how refreshing haha."

"What's with both of you, so fixated over how I talk. It's called manners." Tsukishima scuffed.

"For you, rather than manners, it's your safety distance you put between yourself and others. That's the part we're actually fixated on. Sorry, I butchered in, what were you saying?" Fist Bokuto and now Kuroo, how sharp one's eyes can get...

"I wanted to thank you again for your instructions during camp, we never had any chance to properly talk after that. I realized that blocking seemed like just jumping to me, without even noticing its technical aspects."

"I just shared what I've learned over my high school years, small bits of experience from here and there. I'm happy to see it worked out for you! I hope you'll try to do your best from now on, too. Bokuto looks like he doesn't have a clue about shit at first sight but you cannot find a better teacher than him, especially if he's on the enemy side. He saved me from my occasional slumps, too." Tsukishima shifted his gaze towards Kuroo. He never thought of him as someone who'd have hard time because while he was guiding them in the 3rd gym, he looked like he was in control of anything and everything. 

"Oh, I see... So, u-uuhh... You and Bokuto-"

"Yeah, we're close. What about it?" Kuroo looked at Tsukishima with a sly smirk on his face, enough to throw Tsukishima into turmoil.

"I didn't mean anythi-" His phone started to ring, thankfully he didn't need to come out with a lame ass excuse. It was Bokuto calling.

"Yes, Bokuto-san?"

"Heeey Tsukki, where are you now? Kuroo messaged me about you arriving and I'm just done with the things here."

"We're sitting under a maple tree now with Kuroo-san, right across the ice cream stand. Do you know where it is?"

 "Yeah, I'll be there in a second. Bye." Bokuto ended the call without getting a reply from Tsukishima. 

"When will be your graduation ceremony, Kuroo-san?"

"We already had ours yesterday but it's nowhere near this celebration. We were friends with Bokuto since our first year and he invited me here back then to have some fun, I was here last year, too. It feels strange that I'm here again, yet I'm the one who's graduating now. I've always seen third years here, crying, clinging to each other, not being able to let go. It never occurred to me that one day I'd be in their shoes. I know it's the inevitable truth but... uhh, I feel stupid!" 

Tsukishima could see Kuroo's eyes glimmering under the sun, he was naturally getting emotional. He remembered the feelings he had back then when they first talked with Bokuto over the phone and now looking at Kuroo, he must be feeling the same things about parting, though on a whole different level than Tsukishima. At that instant, both of them felt a lump of mass, going by the name Bokuto Koutarou, clutching their heads and screaming "Heeeey my lovelies, how's your day going huuuh? I'm feeling perfect, as always, thanks for asking!"

"Shithead, let me go, are you trying to break my neck with those godly biceps of yours? And look what you've done, thanks to you I dropped my ice cream." Kuroo looked seriously depressed about the incident and it entertained Tsukishima a little. 

"Oh my, did I hear that correct, Tsukishima-kuuun, pupupu! My sweet bedhead is praising me. Now I can die in peace." 

"Ugh don't just hear the part you like and ignore the rest you twit, make up for my fallen ice cream now!"

"Okay okay, as you wish!" said Bokuto and gave Kuroo a big hug from behind. Tsukishima was having hard time following their conversation and honestly, he felt a bit left out. Was this really what you call 'close'?

"How is this even making up! I want you to get me something that I can put in my mouth- Oh wait, that sounded soooo out of place hahahha!" Now they were just laughing at the top of their lungs? Bokuto put his one hand on Tsukishima's and the other on Kuroo's shoulder, using it as a leverage, he jumped over the bench and squeezed himself in between them. 

“Alright alright, I'll get your ice cream Tetsu, stop being such a Kyubei.”

“Whaaa, don't lump me in together with that lowly creature!” Kuroo gasped loudly. Just... What? Tsukishima felt like he was floating in the space.

“Uhm, Kyubei? Why are you calling him like that?”

“Oh Tsukki, NO! Don't tell me you haven't watched Madoka yet!” Bokuto gasped louder than Kuroo.

“Don't be so surprised Kou, not everyone is enthusiastic about anime like you.” Kuroo giggled behind Bokuto.

“But it's MADOKA we're talking about!! Tsukki you've been living a lie, you need to join us in this journey immediately. I've decided, we're having a Madoka day after the exams and that's final!”

“Isn't Madoka about magical girls?" Tsukishima raised a brow. "I saw its commercial on TV.”

“It's much more than that, I think you'll be hooked on it after watching, you just wait!”

“ _He doesn't look this excited in practice matches, most of the time. Is it that important for him?_ ” Tsukishima wondered. It obviously was...

“Okay, I'm up to it.” he said, while shrugging his shoulders. While Bokuto was getting happy on his own accord, Kuroo leaned over Tsukishima behind Bokuto's back and whispered.

“You don't even know what you got yourself into. Be mentally prepared.”

“... and then I would get us the best snacks because a show is nothing without the perfect combination of the correct amount of sugar, salt and carbonated drinks.” Bokuto was still ongoing about the Madoka date. Kuroo threw his arm over Bokuto's shoulder and pulled him a bit closer.

“Yo Bambi, let's stroll around for some more otherwise your guest will go back to his hometown unsatisfied.”

“Yes so true, thanks Tetsu!” He locked his arm in Tsukishima's and forced him to get up. “There's a ball game over there, how about we even the score, take up from where we left at the camp? Hey hey heeey!” screamed Bokuto and started to run in the direction of the said game. Kuroo and Tsukishima looked at each other simultaneously, shrugged and went after him.

★   ☆   ★

 

It was time to part ways. Along with Karasuno, Nekoma members were also going back to their homes. Parting was just as Akaashi witnessed last year; very emotional, with lots of crying and hugging. All that was left for Bokuto was to get his diploma and say the final goodbye to his teachers and team members. It was the heaviest part but Akaashi was already a mess after seeing Bokuto with Tsukishima and Kuroo at the bench like that. He wanted to spend some time with Bokuto so he was looking for him at the alley, only to find... He didn't even want to think about it, he was already weak in the knees.

 

Still, no matter how hard one tries to cling onto things, thinking they are the most precious they may ever encounter, trying to stab one's claws, nails digging in deeper so they may never regret letting the thing they cherish more than themselves go, what they gain in the end are nothing but pierced meat and dripping blood belonging to the object of their desire on their claws; the very first thing they vowed to protect. A tragic character's only salvation is to never been born, after all.

Yet, Akaashi chose to dig his claws into himself. He was clenching his fists in his pockets while Bokuto was constantly telling his stories as usual, though he couldn't bring himself to listen to his words. His feelings were getting out of hand. He knew all of this were wrong, he was wrong to feel these negative emotions however, like a plague that sneakily planted its roots and spread in an instant without Akaashi realizing, they were always there; no matter how illogical it was for them to exist in the first place. “Maybe I should have called in sick.” Akaashi thought. Would it make a difference? Not really. He suddenly realized his feet moving. Walking on the linoleum covered hallway floor, step after step. He wasn't the one moving them, no, they were surely moving on their own accord. This scene reminded him of a movie, he couldn't come up with the name _3_. One of the characters were talking about beards. Like, how it continues growing even after you're dead, just like fingernails. On the other hand (-on the other foot, the other character corrected) toe nails would just stop growing. Why? Would people continue clinging onto things even after they are dead, in a steel coffin with no way to get out? It was all disgusting.

“Akaashi, respond!!”

“Huh?”

“I'm calling out to you for a while now, are you okay?”

“Uh huh.”

“You sure don't look like it. Since I'm done, care to walk me home one last time? “

“Uh huh.”

Bokuto suddenly wandered off somewhere and Akaashi was left in the middle of an empty hallway. Now what? There definitely was a problem with school's electrical wiring because all the lights in the hall were flickering, it was so intense that Akaashi felt like his eyes were set to flames. He closed them to protect himself from going blind and when he opened, he was outside, at the school's main gate with Bokuto standing in front of him. “Why?” he asked himself, such a horrid expression. Was Bokuto wearing a mask, maybe? He wanted to see underneath his face, what he's been hiding and twisting all this time. All he wanted was to understand, so please, drop this horrid expression. Please, I beg you please, just stop looking at me like that. "Huh? Uh, why does my throat hurt..." Akaashi lifted up his face. He felt the nice summer breeze on his cheeks, the wind was colder on some parts than the others. He couldn't see in front of him, not even one inch. Maybe he was finally blinded by the lights?

"Akaashi you're scaring me. What's wrong, why are you crying? Please tell me. What do you mean by begging me not to look at you like this, how am I even looking at you?"

"Oh, so that's why my throat was hurting." Akaashi realized. Or maybe said this sentence out loud too? He couldn't differentiate anymore. 

Bokuto slowly drew near and wanted to grip Akaashi from his shoulders but the instant they came in contact Akaashi's crying face filled with rage and disgust, an extremely strong expression Bokuto has never seen before on him. Akaashi screamed.

“What do you think you are doing!”

“Sorry if I startled you, I just wanted-”

“WHAT! YOU WANTED TO COMFORT ME HUH? IS THAT IT?”

“Akaashi, please lower your voice, we are outside.”

“WHY DO YOU CARE!” Akaashi was panting, his face had varying colors from beet red to lighter tones of purple. “You are a graduate now, you've severed your ties with everything here.”

“I'm so sorry if I offended you in any way but... I really cannot understand what is it you're angry about.”

Akaashi's body was now visibly shaking. His eyes were wide open but dead inside, he seemed like he was staring into blank space, however his gaze was burning Bokuto's skin like an inferno. Akaashi started to laugh, nervously.

“Hah ha hahahahaHAhaHAhaH! See?? This is your problem. HOW THICK IS YOUR SKULL HUH?! OR MAYBE IT HAS A FILTER, ONLY LETTING CERTAIN THINGS INSIDE BUT IT'S CERTAINLY NOT LETTING ME IN! AT ALL!!! All this time I've been watching you act all nice and fuzzy to Kuroo and let it slide, thinking it's just some kind of friendship but now I wonder if you're fucking each other's brains out after the gym sessions, hahah!”

A part of him knew better than anyone else that he was doing it just to hurt Bokuto; paying it back for all the times he touched Kuroo so familiarly, for every second he talked to Tsukishima on the phone, for every sweet yet empty words he spewed out of his mouth regarding Akaashi without even thinking about its consequences. Yet, here he was. Pouring out his frustrations and taking it out on Bokuto. Just like he always did, once again he was relying on Bokuto's kindness and his shoulders big enough to carry the whole world. It was so sad and lonely.

“Akaashi, I beg you, come to your senses immediately. You're being rude and unreasonable.”

“What's there to be reasonable about? And now there's Tsukishima?! When will I get my chance to be worthy of your attention? Don't worry, I've been reasonable all this time, you just didn't notice. This shouldn't come out as a surprise though because you're literally a BLOCKHEAD! YOU HEAR ME? A BLOCKHEAD!”

“How about just lowering your tone-” Bokuto was desperate. He couldn't make Akaashi move or reason with him, take this somewhere else.

“DON'T TELL ME TO LOWER MY VOICE BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY THIS IS THE ONLY WAY TO MAKE YOU LOOK AT ME SERIOUSLY, BEAR WITH IT FOR ONCE GOD DAMN IT!”

“Do I understand you correct, Akaashi? So you l-like me..?” Bokuto was dumbfounded.

“HaHAHAHAaA aaahhhh...” Akaashi's head fell before him. “Now you understand after all this time. Juuust great.”

Bokuto thought it would be best to get close to him right now or he might never have the chance again. He slowly walked towards Akaashi.

“Hey, I think you may agree that this is not the best way to talk things through. I have to apologize properly for not realizing your feelings sooner and if you want, we can discuss all of it again, or not if it's painful for you but let's just calm down for now.”

Akaashi slapped Bokuto's hand away and met his eyes. What he had on his face made Bokuto stumble and back off: pure hatred. 

“No need to, Bokuto-san. This is the last time we see each other. I don't want any type of connection or a thing that connects me to you, not anymore. Congratulations on your graduation.”

“Huh?” He was stunned, to a point that he couldn't even react anymore.

★   ☆   ★

Two weeks later, he got a phone call from his teammate Wataru, who is now a 2nd year in Fukurodani, letting Bokuto know that Akaashi has left the team.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. The part where Tsukishima quotes, is the closing sentence of Virginia Woolf's most experimental novel _Waves_. This book had such a huge influence on me and it fit Tsukishima's mood perfectly in my mind so I wanted to use it here. 
> 
> 2\. _Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man_ , James Joyce's semi-autobiographical novel where he tells the story of an artist's perception of life from the beginning of his childhood. Another modernist writer I adore! This book is really mesmerizing and clever, so beautifully put. Again, the same narrative mode is used as Waves.
> 
> 3\. This movie is an adaption from Tom Stoppard's play _Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead _. Both the play and its movie adaptation are top notch. As some of you may know, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are two characters from Shakespeare's _Hamlet _; they are Hamlet's childhood friends who are sent to kill Hamlet but they die instead of him by accident. Stoppard takes these two characters and tells an anti-hero story from their perspective, questioning existansialism. I totally recommend the movie if you don't enjoy reading plays!____
> 
>  
> 
> __  
> __  
> __  
> _A whole bunch of thanks as always, for reading this. I'm always open to constructive criticism. If you think there's a flaw in terms of story line or inconsistent character development, I'd be willing to hear your opinion. There will inevitably be grammar/punctuation mistakes or words misused since I'm not a native speaker of English, though I occasionally come back and check again my works to see if there's something I missed. Take care and see you at the next chapter!_  
>   
>   
> 


	6. Act I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Huge time skip strikes back! Tsukishima is in his 3rd year and preparing for exams, Kuroo and Bokuto are in their 2nd year in different universities, however their campuses are somewhat close. Bokuto is in math department while Kuroo is studying history, aiming to be a teacher. *melts over her own headcanon*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY, before you get all giggity about my HC that Bokuto getting a tattoo on his thigh, as a couple of people did on Twitter, I am FULLY AWARE how tattoos are stigmatized in Japan, even in daily life. I read it in the news that tattoo shops are being closed down, artists trying to do their jobs illegally, onsen and communal bathrooms mostly don't allow people with tattoos to enter (you have to search for the ones who accept) and it would be totally impossible for Bokuto to play in any teams after getting the tattoo; especially somewhere visible. Even I was told to wear something long sleeved to cover my tattoo while entering the passport check in Japan, just to be safe (I phrased it like that because Japanese people mostly don't care about what foreigners do). However, I find the idea sexy and captivating (yes I have a thing for tattoos and piercings, shoot me) and the precious [NAMSI](https://twitter.com/namsi_draw/status/698822405070786561) from Twitter was kind enough to turn my HC into reality,so why not? Unicorns aren't real but what the heck, I might as well put Bokuto on it and make him save the Kuroo in distress, trapped in a castle, if I want to.
> 
> A little reminder for the nicknames Kuroo and Bokuto use. Kyubei and Homura are characters from Puella Magi Madoka Magica while Elsa and Tinker Bell are famous enough to be known. Brave is also the Disney movie about the ginger archer. 
> 
> Song for this chapter : [Bat for Lashes - Oh Yeah](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkd-5OkLVnA)

" _It's hot.._." Tsukishima could feel a sweat drop forming on his nape and then slowly finding its way to his inner t-shirt. Head resting in his palm, drumming on his lips with his fingertips, he was mindlessly looking out of the window. He wanted to care about the class but his mind was too occupied over something he heard over the locker room from Hinata.

What was it, jealousy? Or was he just angry? Physically, not much had changed between Kuroo, Bokuto and him. They were still in different prefectures, though because Tsukishima was minor and an exam student, short on spare time, the comedy duo would visit him in the form of weekend excursions. These meetings seldom occurred because of each individual's circumstances but they were sweet and fun, would consist of mostly going to a cinema or a cafe. It wasn't enough for Tsukishima, it was never enough but he had to endure it. " _We need to ace these so we can achieve the things we want for ourselves later on in life._ " Bokuto's words were still ringing in his ears. Tsukishima considered himself a patient person, he could pull this off. Normally, he would find keeping one's love for themselves plain stupid, he liked his relationships fair and square. Nevertheless, a baseless confession made in the spur of a moment would also be in vain. All he could get from -a possible- long distance relationship would be calls and occasional visits. He clearly wanted more, so he waited and waited, for almost two years, biting his lips and clenching fists, trying not to give away anything every time they'd meet with Bokuto. Not like they were alone though, which was a blessing for nervous Tsukishima for Kuroo to be there and soothe the atmosphere. 

Apart from these meetings, they would chat on the phone regularly or sometimes Skype all three of them. Now, this was the juicy part. When they started university, the comedy duo were still living with their parents but after a while, subject of living together was brought up but neither of them told Tsukishima about them ACTUALLY moving in! Why did he had to hear it over Hinata? It was a really important moment in their lives however Tsukishima felt like he was left out, as always. There was this invisible gap you couldn't close between you and the childhood friend, no matter how good or fast you run. There was no winning when competing for someone's attention if your rival had the upper hand of being in their life much longer than you. The truth was crashing onto him time and time again and it was pretty sickening. Was there any merit of asking why was he not informed about this? Tsukishima let out a big sigh, he hated being in such situations where he could do nothing but wait and see. Thankfully, the bell aided Tsukishima's help, informing everyone that the classes had ended for the day. All the tension he had vaporized into thin air because today he had no training and he finished the novel he's been reading, so Tsukishima wanted to grab some snacks and head over home to write a blog post about the novel. He had this blog for about 2 years now, always writing about the pieces he would read, his impressions or analyses. It was also a good practice to get himself into writing. He neither informed people about his blog nor hid it, he wouldn't talk about literature too frequently with others so the conversation would never build up to a point where he would mention about his hobby. However, he made himself friends over the net who are witty, knowledgeable and kind, it was always a pleasure seeing them comment, whether to put whatever they had in their minds about the post or point out the parts where they'd disagree. It was constructive and Tsukishima would always feel like he grew one inch more after learning something new. He said his goodbyes to his classmates and left the school grounds. He was thinking about stopping by the supermarket but being still pissed about the moving-in situation, he decided to head over to his favorite patisserie. He'd always indulge himself with his favorite cake from this shop when he was feeling down. After completing his mission at the shop and ten minutes of walking, he was finally home. Putting the plastic bag on the floor and untying his shoes, he shouted that he was home but had no response. His mother was probably out and since Akiteru moved out, his father's working, he realized he was all by himself. 

It's not like he didn't like his family. They were of course having disagreements as much as the next family, however Tsukishima was very fond of them. Still, he wasn't able to shake this amazing feeling off when he notices he has the whole house to himself. Even though none of the members would come and intrude his personal space without permission, he liked being alone at home way too much. He swiftly moved towards the kitchen, put the rest of the desserts he got for others in the fridge, putting his share on a plate, he threw the paper filter containing coffee grains to trash and prepared himself freshly filtered coffee. Now it was time to sit down and get his fingers moving on the keyboard. 

First he checked his e-mails. It was a pain in the ass to do it on his old-fashioned phone, he seriously needed a new one to move around easily. Notifications about the replies and likes he got for his little essays, made Tsukishima smile and his stomach turn from excitement. There were also some advertisements, unrelated spam mails and another comme- "Waitwaitwaitwait!" he scrolled up as fast as he could. There was an advertisement about an event. Tsukishima was left speechless, he tried to shut down his gasp with his hands but no, he couldn't calm down. He was cursing and tears were forming at the corners of his eyes out of thrill, he shuddered at the thought of passing without noticing this mail. Tsukishima enjoyed reading plays as much as he liked prose or poems and would try to go to theater if something were to catch his interest but this one was HUGE. He was keeping an eye on a specific theater company called  _Théâtre du Soleil_ and they were going to stage their new play,  _Tambours sur la Digue_ in Tokyo for the first time. The group studied Japanese traditional puppet theater  _bunraku_ and incorporated its fundamental aspects into their play [* _you can read more about the group and play in the end notes]_. 

"I would literally kill someone to go to this event. Uuhh, when's the date... On a Friday night? It's pretty strange." Tsukishima checked the calendar. "Ah it's okay, that day coincides with a holiday." He happily started to hum a tune and took a bite from his favorite cake, feeling content and excited... until the information about the venue sunk in. 

"TOKYOOOO???!!!"

He shouted so much that the birds on the tree, next to Tsukishima's window flew away. He started panicking and thinking about his options. The play was at 19:00, it was supposed to last two and a half hours, if he were to hurry maybe he could make it to the last train back home. But what if something were to go wrong? He could drop his wallet while trying to run and even turning back could end up bad, he was barely making it. He thought about talking to Akiteru, if he were to miss the train maybe he could pick him up? He had a small car of his own but it was almost 1 hour drive from where he lived to Tokyo center. He didn't even want to imagine not being able to go to the play, it was so important for him. Tickets were a bit expensive, adding train tickets and Bokuto's present, the amount he needed to save up increased all of a sudden. Well, he started filling his piggy bank since Bokuto's birthday was coming up but he needed to be extra careful from now on. He decided to talk to his parents tonight for permission. Since he's planning to come back home after the event, Tsukishima thought it wouldn't be too hard to get a positive answer from them but he needed to be convincing. He was craving for another cup of coffee and grabbed his mug, inclining towards the door, that moment his phone started to ring. It was Kuroo...

Tsukishima wasn't ready to take this call, he wished for more time before he sorted out what to say about this whole 'moving in together' issue and his mind was exerting itself to find a solution for the play in Tokyo. On the other hand, Tsukishima knew Kuroo would get a little panicky when he wouldn't answer the call, he needed to press the green button whether he wanted to or not. 

"People think he's all cool and rebellious, if only they knew the mom hiding inside... " Tsukishima snorted, then squeezed his phone between his cheek and shoulder, while walking towards the kitchen.

"Hello?"

"Heey Elsa, how's it going?"

"There you go ladies, this is the guy you've been eyeing and thinking he's a tough nut to crack, a Disney animation fanatic." Tsukishima tried to conceal his laughter.

"How many times will I tell you, it's Tsu-" Maybe it would be best to just give in. "-never mind. I'm doing okay, resting at home, how about you?"

"Doing kind of okay, I'm so exhausted after finishing a 700-page book in a day, obviously had to stay awake the whole night... Can you believe it?! Damn, at least my eyes are still attached to their regular palces. I bought some ingredients for dinner and was heading home. How about you, how are your studies going? I called today thinking you don't have training, your schedule is the same I hope?"

Tsukishima was biting down hard on his lower lip and try not to be sarcastic. However, he couldn't keep it in anymore.

"Yeah, we're off today. My studies are okay, most of the time it's boring and demanding but I don't have much time before the exams so I have to be patient."

"True, gotta work hard towards your dreams, ice queen." Kuroo chuckled.

"M-hm. You said you were heading home, care to tell me which one are you heading to?"

"W-what do you mean..." Tsukishima could hear Kuroo's voice trembling, over the speaker.

"You heard me right, I think it's futile to beat around the bush." Tsukishima filled his cup and leaned against the kitchen counter. In the meantime, Kuroo was busy groaning and swearing.

"Shit... Probably that shrimpy told you, I knew it was a mistake telling Kenma about it. Fuckk..."

"Why are you blaming Kenma now?"

"I'm not blaming him, if there's someone to blame, it's that shrimpy and his blabbering mouth!"

Kuroo sighed and went silent for a couple of seconds.

"Look Tsukishima, I know it will sound like a lame excuse but me and Bokuto wanted it to be a surprise for you. When your workload would lessen, we planned on inviting you for celebration. This is why I'm calling you today... Hey, are you there? I'm sure it probably made you feel awful, like we are hiding something... Answer me please? I really feel like shit but our intentions were pure, I swear."

"It's okay, I believe in you... Though you were right, it made me feel awful, or more like... awfully lonely." Tsukishima murmured, hating himself for the lame pun he did. "So, you said that's why you called me, did you set a date for the party?

"Maaan, thank you! I wouldn't know what to do if you'd stay angry. It's not really a party, you know it's Bambi's birthday next month but all of us will be cramped with exams around that time so I wanted to set a date we could all agree on. There is a play we want to see, so I think you wouldn't say no to coming over haha. We would hang out afterwards and celebrate everything at once."

"God, Kuroo-san, I wouldn't say no either way... So, when's the play? And what's the name?"

"You say you wouldn't decline but even the tone of your voice changed, you're clearly more excited for the play. Buuu, don't go breakin' my heart, Elsa!"

"Kuroo, I swear I'll strangle you!"

"I'll take you up on that offer any day, mwahah-"

"Kuroo-"

"Okay okay, don't get mad. " Kuroo interrupted and cleared his throat. "It's on February 4th, Saturday. Like, six weeks away."

Tsukishima choked on his coffee, what could he possibly have done to deserve this bad luck? The play he wanted to see was on February the 3rd... Kuroo sensed Tsukishima's pause.

"You have another appointment on that day? Maybe I really should have checked before planning things on my own..." Kuroo exhaled.

"No, it's not your fault. I wanted to see a play, too, which is just before the play you mentioned, on February, 3rd. Well, I didn't talk to my parents yet, so I'm not sure if I'll be able to see it or not. Though, it's really important to me, so... I'm trying to find a way to go back and forth between Tokyo and Miyagi." Tsukishima was talking in bits and pieces, he wasn't able to function properly.

"And, where is this play?"

"Tokyo..."

"WHAA?! Elsa, this is amazing news!! You can come here on Friday and spend the weekend with us!! This way, you wouldn't need to think about transportation and all that. What do you say?"

Tsukishima was pale and shaking, he was lost thinking about spending time in Tokyo and having to sleep under the same roof with them. If Kuroo were able to read minds, all he'd hear right now would be "NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE!". On the outside, though, it was pure silence.

"Are you there? What is there to consider? It's the perfect solution, right? I mean, why choose when you can have both. Anyways, the play's name is _Oedipus, the King,_ apparently Bambi have read it before and wanted to see it on stage so I agreed. However, he doesn't know about this conversation and I'm planning to surprise him. After this, it will be all exams for us, going hard on our asses and you'll be busy with graduation and applications, this is a great chance to let the steam out and relax a little."

Relaxing? Yeah, it was easy for Kuroo to talk. How on earth could Tsukishima feel easy next to his platonic lover... Kuroo sensed the restlessness in Tsukishima somehow and contemplated on whether to keep things to himself or tell what he really thinks. He went with the latter.

"And I seriously think Bambi would also want you here, with us. I know how stressed he's been with school, the process of moving in was pretty problematic and on top of it all, he's having serious problems with his dad. Some peace and fun would do him good. Ugh, if Bokuto were to hear me telling you, he'd definitely stick his leg into the appropriate holes on my body..." 

The smooth surface of porcelain slid over Tsukishima's ice cold fingertips and made a crashing sound at first, followed by a splash. It echoed in the empty house, accompanying the overly rhythmic ticking of the clock in the hallway. Like a new opening, his body and mind had become extremely sensitive towards his surroundings for a second -or for an eternity-; the coffee smell mixed with wood, the cars passing by, postman opening their post box, Kuroo's heartbeat, his own heartbeat, his blood receding from his body, leaving him like an empty shell. He blinked hard and shook his head, hoping to cling into reality.

"What?" he was able to respond. "I never... He never told me about these things.". Trying to reason with himself was not going great. 

"Look, he didn't want to cloud your head, thinking you had too much to focus on your hands-"

"Fuck the things I need to focus on!" Tsukishima had enough of this isolation. He was trembling with anger and couldn't grasp what he was supposed to say or do, it was like he was slowly sliding into an abyss. "What kind of problems are you talking about, are they serious? You better not lie to me!"

"I just want to punch myself in the face and break my jaw, I shouldn't have said anything." Kuroo hissed in regret. "I'm really sorry Tsukishima, I am not entitled to talk about his problems, it would be unfair. I understand it's also unfair to you, now that you want to know but... Please blame me and try to forget this ever happened. Just try to convince your parents into coming here and staying for the weekend, then we can have all the talk we want. If you mention Bokuto about this, he'll surely find out about the plans. Let's keep it as a surprise, alright? Please?"

"I don't want to talk about this anymore, goodbye.", and that was it. Tsukishima slowly climbed the stairs and head over to his room like a ghost and plopped onto his bed. He had a storm of questions in his head, like "What are these problems Kuroo's talking about?", "Why didn't Bokuto at least hinted he wasn't doing good?" or "Why was I so blind and engulfed in my stupid feelings that I couldn't notice anything?" but overall, it all added up to zero. Bokuto was in a bad situation and all he could do was wait. How he wished to be by his side now, placing Bokuto's head on his lap and caressing his outrageously spiky hair, without even saying a word, solely being there with his whole being. Even his guts were filling up with tears, he was about to overflow. 

★   ☆   ★

Bokuto was aimlessly facing the TV when Kuroo entered the house. 

"Hey, I'm home."

"Uh huh." was the only response Kuroo got. He was frantically looking for a way to ease Bokuto's pain but his brain, as usual, would give up on him at the most crucial times and every time, Bokuto's eyes would seem dead a bit more. Trying to chase away the negativity, he sat next to Bokuto and caressed his knee.

"How are you doing? Did something happen? Or is it the usual hardships?"

"There's that..." Bokuto exhaled and continued. "There is another thing that's been bothering me, for a while."

"Would you like to talk to me about it? If you're thinking about skipping your morning class, I could get us a few beers." 

"Nah Tetsu, it's better if I go to class. So, do you have time?"

"I always have time for the dearest Bambi! What's up?" 

Bokuto was still staring at the void filling the living room, Kuroo situated himself to face him by taking a pillow on his lap and crossing his legs.

"It's about Tsukishima... I feel like this past month he really grew cold, I wonder if I said something insensitive to him." 

Kuroo's heart skipped a beat. No matter what happened, it was most probably his fault.

"What do you mean by that? Why do you think he seems distant?"

"Maybe it's because he is just stressed out? I don't know, he doesn't seem sincere as he did before. He sometimes cuts the conversation in half and comes up with excuses to end the phone call. Do you know anything? Maybe he would talk to you about his issues. Precious things are slipping through my fingers one after another and I don't want to lose him too."

"This is an emergency call to the gods above, would someone care to descend from Heavens and fuck me right here, right now? Thank you very much." Kuroo thought to himself. After the disastrous phone talk, he couldn't bring himself to call Tsukishima, only once to see if he was able to get permission and gladly learned he did, now he had one week ahead to be free from this agony! 

"Look, Kou." Kuroo crawled over Bokuto and cupped his head with his hands, drawing small and light circles on Bokuto's cheek bones with his thumbs. He stared into Bokuto's eyes and he stared back for a second, then lowered his eyes. "I know it's hard to focus on the good things when unfortunate ones happen this frequently and I'm not telling you to cheer up, that solves nothing. You just need to cling on to whatever you can find and I beg you, look at me! Don't forget that I'm always here, alright?" 

Kuroo pressed his forehead against Bokuto's and their noses were lightly touching when those golden eyes started to get teary and turn all red. Bokuto nodded and his head slowly fell in front of him. His body was like a sea amidst the storm, shuddering and forming waves throughout. Kuroo was at loss of words, well not like words would be of any help. They hugged each other for half an hour or so, until Bokuto wore himself out and fell asleep in Kuroo's arms. 

★   ☆   ★

Tsukishima was at the station with his backpack next to his feet, his back leaning on the wall. He knew Bokuto had classes all day on Fridays and Kuroo would come and pick him up. The weather was really nice nowadays to his luck, so he didn't need to carry anything heavy. This past six weeks Tsukishima took his time and carefully consider their situation, he didn't want to make either of them feel like he was distancing himself, he didn't know any other way to keep his own feelings in check. At least, after all the unpleasant phone talks and heartaches, he was able to find his own resolve. 

Kuroo was finally in Tsukishima's sight, looking sharp as usual. "Apart from his inhuman bedhead, I suppose." Tsukishima snickered. Kuroo crossed the street running and neared Tsukishima. Grabbing his upper arm, he left a small kiss on his cheek.

"How was your trip, Tinker Bell?" 

"Oh, so I upgraded?" Tsukishima knew he liked Peter Pan more than Frozen. Damn, he listened to him whine about how tacky the Frozen's plot was for almost an hour over the phone. 

"You know what, you are the best, how did you know!" Kuroo hugged Tsukishima and squeezed him hard enough to hear cracking sounds. Then, he bent over and took Tsukishima's bag, continued talking.

"I'm guessing you're hungry? I know a great place to have breakfast. You know Bokuto has classes today, he'll be able to join us around 4 pm. You just tell me what you'd like to do; shower, a little nap or some place you'd like to visit, I'll plan the day ahead and let Bambi know."

"Hmm, I don't feel tired and don't need to shower. If you know a good one, maybe I'd like to stop by a second hand bookshop, though it doesn't have to be today. Do you have anywhere you need to be?"

"I just have to stop by the market and do some grocery shopping for tomorrow but apart from that, I'm all yours. Then we can go wild and hit the bookshops!" 

"Your level of crazy has gone over 9000, I see." Tsukishima grinned.

"Stop with the lame DBZ jokes and get inside the restaurant, you adorable nerd. Hanging out with you made me turn into a geezer." 

Kuroo held the door for him and the sweet smell immediately hit Tsukishima. It was a small pancake shop, decorated with bright colors. Today being a weekday, the place was not so crowded, they were able to easily find a nice table to sit. Kuroo ordered, went a little overboard if you were to ask Tsukishima, and they continued to talk about trivial things like weather being nice or Hinata and Kageyama continuing being dorks. Tsukishima thought it would be awkward but actually he was having really nice time. 

He didn't notice how long it took for their order to arrive but only after starting eating, Tsukishima realizes the tables are extremely small (or it may be possible for them to be oversized, after all they were two guys, nearly 2 meters tall). Their arms were always bumping each other and Tsukishima already asked for his 3rd fork after dropping every one of them.

"God Kuroo-san, I know you are ambidextrous, can't you just use your right hand for now? Even the women sitting next are laughing at us." Tsukishima whispered.

"Yeah but you also know that I'm used to eating with my left. Just ignore them." He really didn't seem to care, he was very busy, stuffing the pancakes with fresh berries and whip cream, then tucking them in his mouth. 

However, that wasn't the only reason why Tsukishima requested this. When they were chewing or talking, their hands resting on the table were touching each other. Sometimes Kuroo would do small gestures along the conversation, rubbing Tsukishima's hand slightly or bumping their knuckles jokingly. They were little and surely meaningless but it would make Tsukishima's temperature rise and leave him flustered. 

"What the hell, am I a horny teen in heat?" Tsukishima sighed and tried to focus on the amazingly done pancakes. 

"They are really good by the way, thanks for bringing me here. What do you think about this place's coffee? Maybe we wouldn't need to change places for the time being."

"It's pretty decent, if you want we can order it now."

Tsukishima nodded and smiled, it has been a while  since he felt this relaxed, all this time he was agonizing over what to say to Kuroo, how to ask Bokuto about his problems, the two nights he was going to spend at their house... He was restless, now with every bite and every word, his worries were dissolving in the warm aura they had. With Bokuto, it would be complete. 

"Now, Thinker Bell, I'm going to order coffee and pay for the tab-"

"But-" Tsukishima wanted to object but Kuroo stopped his lips from moving, pressing his finger on them.

"Shush and surrender." Kuroo grinned and swiftly got up, moving towards the counter. Tsukishima watched his body, so slender yet muscular. Not that it was his first time watching him but it surely was new to Tsukishima for another male body to stir him up this much. Apart from Bokuto's, of course. 

★   ☆   ★

It was almost 4, time for Bokuto to show up. Kuroo talked to him over the phone and as planned, didn't mention anything about Tsukishima being there. They were waiting for him at a cafe near his campus and the plan was to grab something to eat, then head for the play since they didn't have much time. Kuroo said he wanted to get another coffee and went inside to order. Even though it was a bit chilly, Tsukishima was feeling refreshed sitting outside, watching people going in and out of the campus, discussing classes and exams, some of them playing with their phones or pulling pranks on others; seeing this scenery, for the millionth time he wanted to grow faster but this time, in order to be a part of the university environment. It was taking Kuroo a while so he wondered if everything's alright only to hear a scream going "AAAAaaaaaAAaAAaaAaAaaAA!!!!!" and he felt like he was being crushed under a piano that fell from the sky. However, the smell, the warmth, the heartbeat; they were all painfully familiar. Tsukishima hesitantly wrapped his arms around Bokuto's waist, who's been slouching over him with his big and heavy body, his head over Tsukishima's, he could feel Bokuto's breath floating through his short hair. It was maybe a stupid thing to wish, though Tsukishima longed for this moment to never end. 

"Tsukkiii, I'ma hug the shit out of you!! And then I'll hug Kuroo but also kick his ass for not telling me this! Guys, I cannot tell how great I feel. It kind of seemed weird for Kuroo to buy another ticket for a different play but it never ever occurred to me that you'd also be here!" 

Kuroo was standing with his arms crossed, happily watching over the reunion. Bokuto backed a little and crouched next to him, holding and squeezing Tsukishima's hands. If he were to look at Tsukishima's eyes, that moment, Bokuto would most probably see a "Error 404 : Tsukishima not found." prompt. 

"You know, I wrecked my brains out thinking if it was something I said or done for you to keep getting distant but seeing you here makes it all okay, thank you so much!" He looked up and grinned like an innocent child, baring his teeth. Tsukishima squeezed back his hands and smiled.

"I'm glad I was able to come too, Bokuto-san." he said in a soft tone. If Kuroo wouldn't clap his hands loudly and start talking, they would stay like that for a day.

"Yeah yeah birdies! We need food in our bellies, then have a play to catch. We're going to the ramen shop we always visit, is that okay? The place is cozy and food is amazing." He neared Bokuto and grabbed him by the collar, getting him up on his feet. The shop seemed to be close so they gathered up their belongings and started walking. 

Bokuto asked about their day and what did they do and Kuroo mentioned about going to the pancake shop first.

"Oooh that one? I'm so jealous, that place is crazy! Curse you for going there without me." Bokuto was trying to pout but he only looked like a cute little chipmunk with his puffy cheeks. 

"Don't worry we can visit there anytime. Then we did some grocery shopping, left the bags at home and went on a crazy adventure." Kuroo continued.

"Wait, just wait!! You not only took my precious Tsukki to that pancake shop but also showed the house without me?!!" He jumped on Kuroo and clasped his head with his arms. Tsukishima was laughing too much, asking himself if they will ever grow. 

"Calm down Bokuto-san." He had to do the explaining because Kuroo was having hard time breathing between Bokuto's biceps. "He was 'kind' enough to leave me at the entrance of the building, we wanted to wait for tonight."

"Oh yeah?" Bokuto was suspicious at first, looked at Tsukishima like he wanted to make sure, then left Kuroo and fixed his clothes that's been crooked because of the in-the-middle-of-the-road-wrestling. "Okay then, I'll let you off the hook for now but I'm watching you Kuroo!" 

"Whaddaya say, haa? You're a hundred years early to keep me in check!"

"Stop being so Kyubei! You tryina act cool and shit, yet you're watching reruns of Brave every night!"

"And what about you, collecting magical girl figurines and going "Kyaaaa!!" all over!"

The average of age was exponentially dropping as Bokuto and Kuroo started doing hand gestures that normal people stopped doing when they were 3, sticking out their tongues or pulling their eyelids down. By-standers were watching them arguing, spilling each other's secrets out in the street and then there was Tsukishima, who was _literally done..._

"Alright that's ENOUGH!!" he shouted and entered between them. "No food for both of you, now take me to the damn ramen shop because I'm hungry and I don't want to miss the play that I especially came all the way for. " Tsukishima playfully commanded. 

"What do you mean Tsukki, didn't you especially come for me because you missed me a lot? And like, A LOT?"

"First of all, Bokuto-san, those fake puppy eyes won't work on me and second, if you continue like this, I'll go back home after the play." Tsukishima frowned.

"Aww man, my puppy eyes lose their power as I get old..." Bokuto sighed and thankfully the commotion was over. 

★   ☆   ★

Tsukishima was feeling the tiredness sinking in and was having hard time keeping his eyelids from falling down on the bus, heading back home. Bokuto was sitting next to him while Kuroo was standing. leaning his head to the arm he grabbed the handle. 

"If you want to, close your eyes a little, we have another 10 minutes to reach home. I'll wake you up."

"Sorry, the crowd tired me a little but I'm okay." Tsukishima smiled. Though honestly, even when he was closing his eyes while smiling, he didn't want to open them back.

 

Opening the front door was like a ceremony. Bokuto was making drum roll sounds while Kuroo had the duty to host the event. 

"Behold! What you're about to witness is a sight you cannot see every day. Aaaaaand, here it is, the long awaited BoKuroo mansion!!"

"Yaaay!" Bokuto was cheering from the side. The door was opening to a spacious area used as a living and dining room. There was a big library, a cozy L-shaped sofa, a coffee table in the middle, a TV and a game console, a dinner table and a couple of chairs, plants here and there, all in harmony. It was nicely decorated, with the right amount of furniture. Tsukishima hated the fact that he was a little jealous of his friends.

"I told you we should've got some confetti, the entrance totally felt missing pzazz!" Bokuto whined while untying his shoes. "Yet you nagged and nagged me about cleaning up."

"Well, were you going to sweep it afterwards?" Kuroo glances, suspiciously. 

"Nn, yeah well I wouldn't just let them stay there forever."

"See? If you're not going to clean it immediately, shut up about it. Come on Tinker Bell, Kou will run the bath so you can enter first. After you, we'll take turns." He placed his hand to Tsukishima's waist and gently lead him to the living room. 

"On the right, there is kitchen. Everything is at your disposal and grab anything you want from the fridge, don't get overly polite on us, feel relaxed."

"Apart from my puddings!! We'll have a serious talk if you touch them Tsukki!" shouted Bokuto from another room. 

"Never mind him, you can have the puddings." Kuroo whispered.

"Thanks so much for having me Kuroo-san."

"You're doing it already!" Kuroo whimpered. "We also need to work on your way of addressing us but that can wait for now."

They continued touring inside. 

"Here's the bathroom. This is my room and the other one is Kou's." Bokuto was inside his room, placing his backpack and taking off his khaki parka. He grinned and waved at Tsukishima.

"Heey, welcome to my crib!" 

Tsukishima couldn't help but chuckle. Kuroo continued informing him.

"You will sleep in Bokuto's bed, I made him change the sheets, don't worry."

"I can sleep in the living room, please don't be troubled. It's only two nights." Politeness aside, how could Tsukishima be able to sleep in his bed?! 

"Precisely because it's two nights!" Bokuto objected. "You sleep here and I will lay out a futon in Tetsu's room. The couch is comfy too but the sun hits you directly at 8 a.m. sharp. Unpleasant experience, I tell ya." 

Tsukishima couldn't decide which was worst; him sleeping in Bokuto's bed or Bokuto sleeping in Kuroo's room? He knew Kuroo was just overly affectionate, he was the same with Tsukishima too but... He blamed the tiredness.

"Well, if you insist. Thanks for the hospitality, guys."

"Don't even mention it, you're our guest of honor." Bokuto squeezed his elbow,then caressed. "By the way, the water is ready now you can enter." 

"Ah okay, if you'll excuse me." Tsukishima grabbed some of his clothes from the backpack he brought and entered bathroom. Now it was Bokuto and Kuroo in the hallway.

"Oi Kyubei, what's with this child. Is he a geezer? Do you think we should check his identity just to be safe?"

"Ugh why am I still called Kyubei?" Kuroo crossed his arms and leaned over the wall, frowning.

"Because I'm still pissed, that's why. I need some time before I upgrade you to Homura."

"Man, it's impossible to get on well with you." 

 "But that's the part you like about me, haha!"

"Yeah yeah whatever." 

Kuroo clicked his tongue and went to kitchen to make some tea to take the edge off. Bokuto walked right after him into the kitchen to grab a glass of water. 

"Tetsu." he called out in a soft manner.

"What is it?"

"You really are amazing, you know that? I'm sure you're the one who set this up. I'm feeling amazing, all thanks to you." 

"I can see it on your face Bambi, no need to sweat the details. Actually, I might have done something horrible, which I'm sure you'll totally pull a roundhouse kick on me later on but I really want you to be okay. You deserve this." Kuroo smiled and opened his arms, waiting for Bokuto.

"I don't know what you did, but I'm sure I'll force you into seppuku so we might as well hug right now." 

They both giggled and squeezed each other until they hear the lock on bathroom's door made a clicking sound. 

"Is it okay if I go in first?" Bokuto leaned back and asked. 

"Yes, go ahead. I'll help Tsukishima to settle. Do you want tea?"

"Yeah spare some for me." said Bokuto and hurriedly went to his room to get clean underwear. Tsukishima was finally out of the bath and in Bokuto's room, looking for something in his bag. He was wearing red, checked pajama pants and a plain black t shirt. He had his towel around the neck and wasn't wearing his glasses, which was a rare sight for Bokuto. A sight he pretty much enjoyed and would like to feast his eyes on some more. 

"Ah sorry Bokuto-san, I'll leave the room immediately, I was looking for my eye drop."

"You don't need to hurry, I just came here to get my undies, I'll be bathing next. You can stay. By the way-"  Bokuto was shuffling his drawer in the mean time. "- you have such an elegant taste, I was overwhelmed by the play we saw tonight. The way bunraku was introduced into it as a concept, its relation to the story, and the ending! I'll be just repeating myself but, " he closed in on Tsukishima "no matter how indifferent you may look on the outside, you're actually really kind, graceful and perceptive. I think you'll do great in the literature field." Bokuto stretched out his arm to put his hand over Tsukishima's shoulder and while he was moving, his fingertips brushed Tsukishima's cheek, that connection felt like electric, burning his being until he turned into dust, scattering in his beloved one's breath. Bokuto continued with a genuine smile on his face. "Keep on standing strong, okay?" Just like that, he left flustered Tsukishima all alone and went to the bathroom. Tsukishima needed a moment to collect himself, he needed to see his facial expression now, he needed to keep his feelings a secret from Kuroo.

"Heey Elsa, are you okay?" He was at the door.

"Oh yea, I'm okay, just tired... Wait, why did you downgraded me again?" Tsukishima pouted.

"Because I've been calling out to you for a while and you didn't answer. I made tea, would you like some?"

"I would really like that, I feel like I'm melting inside." He was rubbing his face with his hands to get some blood circulating in. 

"Why don't you go to bed, then? We won't have to wake up too early tomorrow, you can rest as much as you want. Don't mind us." They were in the kitchen and Kuroo was filling the mugs with freshly brewed tea. 

"Yeah but..." Tsukishima was embarrassed to admit it in front of Kuroo. "I guess I want to savor the moment while I'm here."

"So, what do you think about the mansion?" Kuroo grinned.

"I have to say that I envied the atmosphere you have here." Tsukishima blushed, he was constantly looking at his feet. "I was okay with any prefecture as long as the university's academic staff and program was good but after thinking it through, I guess I want to be in Tokyo, after all."

"Tsukishima, this is amazing news! It would be awesome to have you here. Oh god, just imagine the possibilities!!" Kuroo was hugging him and jumping at the same time, Tsukishima also wrapped his arms around him. It was his first time touching Kuroo on his own will, the sturdy and muscular back of Kuroo under his hands made him feel strange, he could feel the shape of his muscles. Thankfully, Kuroo didn't hug him for too long, excusing himself by saying he might smell bad. Only thing Tsukishima could smell was the alluring perfume Kuroo was wearing, mixed into the body odor and tea scent, coming from the pot.

"By the way, the tea smells a bit different." Tsukishima smelled it over his mug one more time. "Did you add something extra?"

"Yeah, I like to add some dried lavender if I come home tired. It helps to calm my nerves, as well as my body."

"Hmm, it really tastes good, too." Tsukishima admired everything around him.

"Hate to say it but I need to work a little, it won't be long for Bambi to come out, so is it okay if I leave you alone for now? I need to do it in order to be able to come to play tomorrow. You can read, watch TV or play with PS in the living room or go to bed, anything you want." 

"Thank you so much, I think I'll just read a little. Good night! See you tomorrow morning. " 

"Good night!" He placed a light kiss on Tsukishima's cheek and went to his room. Tsukishima was alone in the living room, he walked up to the library to see what they got, only to realize he didn't put his glasses on. His ability to get accustomed not being able to see was frightening. He walked up to Bokuto's room and opened the door and immediately closed it back.

"Oh my god I'm sorry, I seriously didn't hear you getting out of the bath! But I don't have my glasses on so I didn't see anything, you can rest assured." Bad eye sight also had its perks. He heard the door opening. 

"You can come in, it's okay. You needed something?" 

Tsukishima turned his head and Bokuto only had his black boxers on, his hair was damp and not styled. Would his heart be able to take it? He was happy that he could see everything in a blur, without the details.

"Y-yeah I needed my glasses, I forgot them inside." His voice was coming out strange.

"Okay." Bokuto left the door open, turned back inside to grab his t shirt. Tsukishima could see clearly now but was contemplating on whether to steal a teeny tiny glance or just run away, screaming internally. Bokuto was the first person to break the silence. 

"Your checked pj's are good and all but wait until you see mine! It has cute bird prints all over, it's so sweet haha!" 

Tsukishima reflexively turned to Bokuto and he almost cursed aloud. Bokuto with his hair down was already doing bad things to him however, the view now... He just hoped his nose wasn't bleeding. Bokuto had a white plain t shirt and tight black boxers, wrapping his buttocks nicely but... was he dreaming that tattoo on Bokuto's upper right thigh? He couldn't avert his gaze and of course Bokuto realized. 

"Yea you haven't seen this yet. I got it done last year. What do you think huh? Looking good?" Bokuto was grinning mischievously.  

The colors, green and orange, were totally captivating and it was obviously done by someone very talented. Tsukishima suddenly had the urge to touch even though he knew he wasn't allowed. _Oh boy_ , he exhaled, _surely he was going on a trip tonight in his dreams after witnessing this beauty_. 

"It really is amazing Bokuto-san but what about the design?"

"After finding an artist that I could put my trust into, I let her work on the design. I was also included in the process, of course and I love the result! Thankfully, the coach of the university team was also okay with it. I still need to cover it up for official matches though, it's a real waste. Just to give you a heads up, it looks super sexy between my shorts and the protectors, fufufu!" 

"How about I headbutt you and wipe that alluring smirk on your face huh? Preferably, with my lips?.. " Tsukishima was getting sucked into the perverted wonderland in his mind. Just as Kuroo said, _imagine the possibilities_...

"That's- that's really cool. Uuuuhh, I suddenly felt really tired Bokuto-san, how about I go to sleep and we continue talking about it tomorrow, would that be okay?"

"Yeah of course, I'm beat, too." He immediately put on his pj's on. No matter how cute they were, Bokuto was still better off without them, Tsukishima thought. 

"Yeah I'm all done. Have a good night and see you tomorrow!" Before going, Bokuto also placed a kiss on Tsukishima's cheek like Kuroo did but the duration was longer and he quivered while Bokuto was inhaling his scent while kissing him. 

"Mmm, yeah vanilla really suits your skin. Good night!"  He lightly tapped Tsukishima's shoulder and closed the door after getting out. Tsukishima was left alone in the room, with his beet red cheeks and his awkward boner. 

"I need to sleep this all off, my brain's gonna fucking explode!" he thought but apparently, having Bokuto's scent lingering around him made everything worse. "I really loathe myself, I should just go die." Still, his hand slid under the fabric and reached the tip of his penis. He couldn't believe he was this wet, just the sight of Bokuto's muscular thighs and that damn tattoo, so alive and screaming, alluring Tsukishima to touch was enough to throw him into turmoil. He started stroking the shaft in a rhythmic motion, holding onto the image he just saw. After only a minute or so, he was already done with himself. Superb feeling of afterglow, mixed with humiliation, was hard on Tsukishima. He thought he had found his resolve and getting impatient would take him nowhere. With the tension being released, he was able to sleep soundly. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** _Tambours sur la Digue_ (Flood Drummers) is a play that debuted in 1999, in Tokyo for the first time. I know the timelines do not overlap because the group stopped playing it in 2002. However, I chose this specific play not only because it's magnificent, it is also a some sort of bridge because Tsukishima enjoys foreign literature, reading about history and all; while _Tambours sur la Digue_ is literally a study on Japanese traditional puppet theater _bunraku_. If you wish, you may read the rest to know more about the group and the play, though I should state that the content is not linked to the story. I'm just writing it because I effin' adore this group, its dynamics and point of view towards life and theater.The play is also a masterpiece. 
> 
>   **About Théâtre du Soleil**
> 
>  _Theater of the Sun_ is formed in 1964 as a collective of artists and since then, they've been actively challenging norms and boundaries, always questioning and searching. Frontier of this movement is Ariane Mnouchkine; she was not only the director of the company's plays, but also she actively shaped their political and artistic course. The group defied the notions of "star player" or "star director" commercial theaters always had and embraced the importance of mutual production and labor. During the political turmoil in 1968, they went on a tour and staged their plays in factories occupied by workers, be it a Shakespeare adaption or their original work, their plays always have a touch of their political views and stance. What is even more beautiful is that it's not only in thought, the way that company works (equally working/sharing, not having a vertical hierarchy or so on) is in coordination with their beliefs. 
> 
>   **About Tambours sur la Digue (Flood Drummers), A Story of the Ancient East for Puppets Played by Actors**
> 
> The script is written by Helene Cixous in 1998, after a flood in China. The story is about people living in China 1000 years ago and there is a huge river running through the fiefdom, dividing it in two. The northern part is occupied by farmers and laborers who work in villages and factories, while to the south lie palaces, temples and theaters, where privileged people of means live. It is foreshadowed by the prophet that there will be a huge flood and as the sound of drums gets louder, signaling the water rising, Lord Khan is in a big dilemma, as he can only save one side of the fiefdom by breaking the dike. 
> 
> This play is visually outstanding because of the elements it brings together. All the actors wear heavy masks and fulfill the duty of "puppets" while the black-wearing _kuroko_ (and I think this is where Kuroko's name from Kuroko no Basuke comes from) acts as the puppeteer. Kuroko is very common both in bunraku and kabuki, japanese traditional theater. Their purpose is to change the scene, move the puppet, make effect sounds; basically they are the 'invisible helper' of the stage. Actors don't talk themselves, just like bunraku, characters are voiced by a different person off stage, music and effects are also done by the orchestra. The costumes are a mixture of Japanese and Chinese traditional garments. Théâtre du Soleil was always practicing in the area of physical theater, however, it's easy to see how physically demanding this kind of acting is. Kabuki and Noh (another form of traditional theater in Japan) is so stylized and heavily focused on body movement and symbolism, actors and Mnouchkine really pulls it off greatly, without (in my humble opinion) objectifying it as "mystique" or "romantic". Around 1970's, there is a rush to east; artists travel to India, Africa, Japan or China to 'broaden' their views but most of them ends up looting their culture. They tried to incorporate cultural ideas and practices without even trying to understand as a means of performance. Well, we even have a term for that : sweet orientalism.  
>   


	7. Act II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for the chapter : [Wildbirds & Peacedrums - Peeling Off the Layers](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLzSoNqLooE)
> 
> No other song could fit the grand finale, haha.

_He can hear the drums beating, gradually getting louder._

_Without a sense of direction, he runs and runs, nothing in sight, desperately trying to cling onto something solid; something won't slip from his fingertips, make him feel safe._

_All the sweating, panting, rhythmic and coherent, in harmony with the drums come to an end abruptly and a bell chime, its sound immediately drifting into silence._

_He suddenly turns around, an infinitely wide daffodil field, green and yellow, greets him with its sickeningly sweet smell._

_He feels the warmth of the soil under his feet, the salvation he has been looking for._

_He wants to hold it; wants to clench on it, feeling its presence between his fingernails and not letting it go ever again, even if he is to burn under the blazing sun._

_In a haze, he crouches, digs his claws next to his feet, inhaling the intoxicating perfume, frantically laughing._

_Bell chimes again and the ground starts to rot under him, turning into a slimy mud, black and devouring him like a quicksand, without giving another choice to save himself._

_Forgetting how to form the sounds, he wants to at least hold on to a daffodil, though he realizes that it's only futile and unfair, he can't even ask for help or forgiveness._

_Sinking into the mud, he feels a hand approaching; mustering every fiber of his being, he tries to scream and ... -_

  

Tsukishima slapped away the hand extended to his forehead instinctively right after he woke up, then recognized it was Bokuto's hand and with the feeling of guilt, he held onto it firmly without giving Bokuto a chance to back away. Then came his blush; a shot of blood to the head helped Tsukishima to get a hold of what's going on and he slowly let Bokuto's hand go, apologizing for his sudden reaction. He aimlessly wandered his hand on the bed, looking for his glasses but Bokuto was already handing them over. He sat on his knees next to bed, watching Tsukishima silently, waiting for him to get accustomed to his surroundings. 

"Sorry I entered the room without your permission but we were calling your name and you weren't responding and..." Bokuto lowered his eyes, locking his gaze onto his fingers tracing the abstract shapes on the sheets. "... sorry I really panicked, thinking something bad happened." 

Tsukishima was surprised to see Bokuto this bitter, he wanted to comfort the boy by touching him, however he was still feeling fatigued and couldn't find the courage. Instead, he touched his own nape like he always did and smiled.

"I'm sorry that I troubled you, I'm a heavy sleeper and most of the time my mom has to kick me out of the bed, I don't-"

"You know I don't buy neither that tone nor the expression, right?" Bokuto interrupted and faced Tsukishima directly. "The breakfast is ready, do you feel well enough to come inside? Or I can prepare something so you can rest while you eat." he suggested while getting up on his feet, trying to make Tsukishima comfortable as much as he could. 

"No, not at all, I feel fine, I wasn't able to step out of the dream for a moment but I'll wash my face and join you." 

"Are you sure?" he bent over to meet Tsukishima's eyes.

"Yeah, no need to worry, Bokuto.. -san." Just like he thought, he wasn't ready to drop the suffixes yet. 

Bokuto leaned forward and kissed Tsukishima on the forehead, honestly it was more than enough to chase the demons away, whirling in and polluting his mind. 

"Good, we're waiting for you at the table." he smiled and left the room. 

★   ☆   ★

Breakfast was perfect. While they were shopping, Tsukishima anticipated that Kuroo could cook, however he didn't expect him to be this marvelous. Tsukishima made the mistake of saying Bokuto was very lucky to have a good cook and it was enough to spark another idiotic fight of theirs, starting from how one never cleaned and how other was so insensitive, finding its course to deeper and more personal matters as it always does. One part of him enjoyed the lunacy but the other part was restless, thinking about the worst case scenarios and interpreting what he sees in worst possible ways. He tried to have fun and take his time while he could. He would easily succeed in doing so, if he could get a hold of his emotions, even if a little. 

After he understood the true nature of his feelings towards Bokuto, he noticed he was minding Kuroo's overly affectionate behavior much more than he used to. He hated this feeling. Maybe it was jealousy; after bottling his feelings and urges inside for more than two years, Tsukishima thought he had the right to touch Bokuto more than Kuroo does. Or it could be the fear of rejection; maybe they were already going out and they just left behind Tsukishima once more, assuming he would overreact or not be supportive. In the mean time, he pretended like he was admiring the beauty of the garden, actually his gaze was just lost in the scenery. They had two more hours before the play, so it was decided to drink tea at a tea house, surrounded with a traditional Zen garden.

When he came to his senses, the comedy duo were arguing about where to eat tonight. Tsukishima bluntly butted into their conversation.

"Is it possible to go somewhere calm so we can talk?"

Both of them looked at each other in sync, then turned to Tsukishima again. 

"If you'd prefer we could just cook something at home and hang out?" Bokuto suggested.

"I don't mind if we stay or go out." Tsukishima could visibly see Kuroo gulping in fear, remembering their past phone talk. "I would prefer if the place was somewhat silent, like here. Let's say... uuhh... I have news? Or something..."

Bokuto reached out for Tsukishima's hand and squeezed. He was probably trying to encourage him but little did he know what his touch was doing to Tsukishima.

"Alright then, it'll be our mansion. We won't have to worry about closing time or getting comfortable. We can cook or order whatever we want. Though, now I'm curious about the topic, care to give us some hint?" Bokuto grinned and thankfully let Tsukishima go. The blond was lightly tracing the edge of his tea cup.

"It's about the future. Or, my future, to be precise." The future also contained their past and Tsukishima was planning to talk about his own problems as well as hearing theirs out. He needed a lot of catching up to do in their personal matters. 

"Of course Tsukki, we're always here for you. Oi you bedhead," Bokuto hissed at Kuroo "be more supportive. You're usually more vocal than me about these things." 

Nonetheless, Kuroo was aware of his stupidity, he just sipped on his tea and smiled. Making a comment on this issue now, would be just pouring salt over his wounds. 

Tsukishima was feeling a bit better, some of his tension was released by taking this first step. Now all he had to do was to carry it through, without faltering and giving into his insecurities. It was easier said than done with Kuroo around. Tsukishima wondered what would happen if he were to ask directly if they were dating? He would most probably have a heart attack before he could even hear the answer... This wouldn't work. He had to leave these matters after he secured his place in Tokyo. He wanted to ask them about the expenses and the possibility of him renting a small apartment by himself, classes, universities, part time job opportunities; he wanted to plan them all beforehand. It was probably easier with a roommate, sharing the workload would take some weight off of Tsukishima's shoulders. However, considering the problems he may have with his future roommate, he had to face it, statistically speaking it was nearly impossible to find someone who can click as much as Kuroo and Bokuto could, it was more efficient to rent a smaller place and try to take care of himself. Then there were dorms. Neither himself nor Bokuto or Kuroo had any experience in staying in dorms but maybe they had some friends hey could ask. "~ma." Then there were university expenses, he needed to take them into account, too. "~shima!" And what about classes? Maybe they had some friends doing literature major, he could ask for an appointment and talk to them about the-

"WATCH OUT!"

He was brought back to reality with a loud screech and Bokuto yanking him towards himself. 

"You freaked me out! Please stop dozing off while walking, it's dangerous!" Bokuto almost screamed. 

"Yeah Tsukishima, drivers don't really care about the pedestrians here, you have to take care of yourself. Is there something on your mind, thinking about tonight?" Kuroo wanted to soothe the atmosphere. 

"Not really." He didn't want to make them anymore worried. "I was thinking about the play and stuff like that, I just lost track I guess."

"You're safe and in one piece, so it's okay in the end. Oh! You see the red tile roof ahead? That's the place, we are almost there." Kuroo changed the subject successfully.

"I just love this play, I'm sure you'll like it too, Tsukki! Well, I'd be lying if I were to say I'm not nervous, recommending something to an enthusiast like you puts pressure on me." Bokuto grinned anxiously.

"Nah Bambi, I'm sure Tinker Bell will like it too!" Kuroo chimed and threw his arm around Bokuto, pulling him close. 

" _99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer.Take one down and pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 98 bottles of beer on the wall, 98 bottles of..._ " Tsukishima murmured, trying to distract himself and immediately looking away. The last thing he wanted was to watch the play all agitated, missing the details and the chance to discuss it with Bokuto afterwards. 

They got their tickets and placed in their seats. Tsukishima's eyes wandered around. The theater was quite spacious and the design was conventional. White, cylindrical paper lanterns with family emblems on were hanging from the ceiling, some red and round ones hanging over the balconies on the sides. As the background, there was an unfamiliar tree design, Tsukishima couldn't grasp which tree it was. He glanced over Bokuto, he was practically the same; having folded his parka and placed on his thigh, he was also ogling his surrounding. Tsukishima leaned over to his ear, who was sitting in between Kuroo and him, and started whispering.

"The stage has a traditional kabuki style."

"Yeah, I was thinking about the same thing." Bokuto whispered back. Their faces were so close, cheeks almost touching. Bokuto's breath faintly smelled like jasmine from the green tea he drank earlier. Their intimacy were making Tsukishima's stomach flip over and over again, feeling euphoric. He was clearly addicted to Bokuto's warmth.

"I was wondering how the actors will use the stage." Tsukishima continued, deliberately leaning his body on to Bokuto's. "Will they bring Japanese cultural elements into the play or perform it as it is originally written?"

"I know the answer." Bokuto turned to Tsukishima. Their noses were slightly touching and this precious person had an enticing smirk on his face, Tsukishima felt the blood rushing to his brain. "Would you really like to know or wait for it?" Bokuto asked. Tsukishima pursed his lips and furrowed eyebrows briefly, then answered, chuckling.

"Yeah, I guess I'd like to see it myself after all." Bokuto winked and laid back in his chair.

"That's what I thought, too." 

In the meantime, the lights were out and the play finally started with huge Kodo drums beating furiously, cymbals chiming and wooden flutes accompanying with a melody as tough they were witnessing a funeral. However, Tsukishima couldn't help himself smiling and blushing all over. He was rubbing his cheeks to relieve the muscles so he would stop grinning and focus on the play. Well, a glimpse over Bokuto's side was more than enough to slap him in the face and turn his expression into a mixture of shock and agony. He couldn't stare for long but what he saw was correct, right? Kuroo was fiddling with Bokuto's fingers lying on the armrest. Soon after, Bokuto's fingers joined Kuroo's and they were playing while keeping their attention on the stage.

There, he had his answer. Why was it still so hard to take it in? Tsukishima bit his lips, trying to suck his tears in. He should be feeling relieved now, at least a part of him but he was having hard time accepting the truth. He took out his bottle from the backpack, drank some water to ease the lump in his throat. "Do I feel better?" he thought, no, rather he felt dead inside; his emotions melting into thin air, leaving him dry. 

"I had the chance to eat amazing pancakes and see _Tambour sur la Digue_ live. I'll enjoy the shit out of this one too and call myself lucky." he clicked his tongue. 

Play was progressing okay, both the music and imagery were blended in well while Ancient Greek masks fitted the scenes perfectly. Now Oedipus was talking to the head of the choir (where the choir symbolized -probably- the citizens of the city, Thebai) when and old man and his helper, a child holding the man's hand, entered the stage. The old man had a mask with a straight and composed expression, neither sad nor angry. On the mask, a black-ish blue rectangle was painted along the eyes, from one ear to the other. Dripping paint traced lines starting from temples, stopping along the beard line. None of the others were painted so this character, Tiresias, piqued Tsukishima's interest. However, he couldn't have guessed Tiresias would make this play unbearable. 

Not because he was a problematic character. He was the blind prophet of Thebai, the worldly counterpart of Apollo, the prophetic deity of Delphi, God of light and sun. Tiresias was blessed with the power of seeing into the future, burdened with the duty called "prophecy". Together, they were two sides of the same coin; Tiresias being in eternal darkness against Apollo's brightness. Tsukishima noticed that every explanation in the story could be perceived as the half of the truth. During the part where Oedipus went to Delphi, in order to consult Apollo, every answer he was given, was missing the other half. When Apollo said "The land is polluted.", without making it clear who polluted it or why, Tiresias held the other half of the truth, asserting "You promised to banish the one who polluted your land, then I command you to banish yourself." He was no longer in need of his vision, for he was able to see further and deeper. 

_"You have your eyes but see not where you are in sin, nor where you live, nor whom you live with."_

Tsukishima was enthralled with the analogy between his blindness and the prophecy, the position where Tiresias stood in the context of the story. It triggered more; he was reminded of the blind owl and the time they spent with Bokuto during the camp; the night Tsukishima saw the stars in his eyes. He was more than just precious for Tsukishima; Bokuto has been (and still is) his guide through thick and thin, seeing the real Tsukishima in him and reaching out to him no matter what; the safe and sturdy place Tsukishima always desired to confide in. 

What was the right course of action? To quietly walk away, forget about settling in Tokyo and hope for a complete closure that may never come? Or go with the selfish route, confess and get rejected, feel slightly better but put their relationship in an awkward position? Having to think about this, in his current emotional state, was hurting Tsukishima's head too much. He wanted to get out of the theater, he was desperately in need of fresh air and preferably to let his tears roll down, he was having hard time keeping himself together for a while now. 

Thankfully the play didn't took long to finish, Tsukishima rushed to the toilet to wash his face and cool down. He saw two pairs of concerned looks as he came back to the lobby.

"Tsukki, what happened?" Bokuto furrowed his eyebrows.

"Yeah." Kuroo joined. "You look so pale."

Tsukishima tried to smile.

"Uhm, yeah, I guess I am tired- huh?" Without even realizing, small droplets started trailing down to his chin, meeting their fate on the marble floor, quietly forming smallest ponds. Kuroo closed in and hugged Tsukishima. He was drawing circles on the blond's back, hoping to stop him from shaking. While Tsukishima's face was buried in Kuroo's shoulder, Kuroo looked at Bokuto, implying not knowing what to do with his expressions. Bokuto shrugged desperately. Kuroo's features changed as if he had an idea.

"I have bad news guys, I couldn't finish my assignment last night and need to head home. You know I also have to cook for tonight, I can't let Bambi near the stove." He leaned back and looked at Tsukishima, he had stopped crying however, his nose and cheeks were still red. Kuroo continued while throwing his arm over Tsukishima's shoulder and leaning his body over. 

"How about Bambi being your guide for the rest of the day? He knows the best ice cream shop in town and I can let it slide the fact that you'll be enjoying it without me, for this instance." 

Kuroo grinned, then walked towards Bokuto, softly grabbed his elbow and placed a kiss on his cheek. 

"Don't wander off too much and be late for the dinner, kids!" He waved, then tucked his hands in his black jeans and humming a song, he left them at the theater.

Bokuto and Tsukishima awkwardly stared at each other for a couple of seconds. Bokuto reached out for the stubborn teardrop that was determined to stay at the corner of Tsukishima's eye. He smiled.

"You're like a Rubik's cube you know that? C'mon, let's walk a little."

And they walked for almost one hour, without a word. Tsukishima's body felt much better after moving around, though he was also curious about whether they had a destination or they were just strolling aimlessly. 

"Oh!" Bokuto, as always, was the first one to break the silence. "There's the shop, I'm so ready to go in binge eating mode!" Just like that, he started waving his arms in the air and shouted nonsense while running towards the store. Tsukishima couldn't help but giggle at the cuteness and admire his never ending energy. The old man at the counter greeted Bokuto with a huge grin and a pat on the shoulder, it was obvious he was visiting this place very frequently. He also introduced Tsukishima to 'Uncle Kou', apparently they shared the same first name. 

Even though the shop had a lot of variety, Tsukishima ordered his usual combo; vanilla and strawberry with dried coconut flakes sprinkled on top. It was enough for Bokuto to wink and order his 'usual' where the first two scoops were vanilla but the second one had a very bright, blue color. Bokuto paid for the ice cream, said his goodbyes and they were on their feet again, walking side by side. 

"Bokuto-san, what flavor is that blue one? Berries or something?" They were the closest ones he could think of. 

"Here, taste it!" Bokuto extended the cone.

"I'd prefer if you'd just tell me." 

"Come on, it won't kill you! Do you think I would buy it every time if it tasted bad? And look, how cool is the color!"

Okay, that kind of logic was... Tsukishima sighed and bit a small part from the mysterious ice cream.

"Ooh!" Tsukishima was surprised. "It tastes like caramel." It was so tasty that Tsukishima was licking his lips for the remnants. 

"It's called 'Italian caramel', a little bit different and more intense compared to usual caramel. I think I'm addicted to it." Bokuto snickered. 

"Not that I don't enjoy walking but, are we going somewhere specific or we are just walking without a destination?"

"We are going to the station now, we'll stop by a favorite temple of mine. I always visit there before an important match. It's the famous _Sensō-ji_."

"I've only seen it in photographs."

"It left me speechless the first time I saw it, I'm sure it'll be more impressive for you to see it in person."  

The darkness was falling upon the city as street lights started to flicker. It was completely dark when they got off the subway. Bokuto was silently walking next to Tsukishima, sometimes making small and irrelevant comments about surroundings, not saying anything about the incident. Tsukishima wondered if Bokuto was expecting him to take initiative and start talking about it. He couldn't stop glancing over Bokuto but he was either facing straight or would kindly smile when their eyes met. It was a clear sign that it was Tsukishima's turn to talk.

Temple was in 3 minutes walking distance from the station and just like Bokuto said, the building looked majestic, all red and aggressive, glowing brilliantly in the dark navy sky. After roaming in the garden and taking an 'obligatory selfie' -as Bokuto put it- at the main entrance,  they sat on a wooden bench. The night breeze was chilly however, they were both feeling content, inhaling the temple's beauty and watching families and friends slowly going back, leaving the garden empty. Tsukishima thought it was now or never, he was feeling brave enough to actually speak.

"I really enjoyed today's play, Bokuto-san. It was my first time seeing a Greek tragedy on stage. Really moving."

"It's nice to hear it from you." Bokuto was talking in a soft manner. "It just proves that I have a great taste hahah!"

"You don't need my approval, frankly. You have great sense when it comes to literature, too. At least, that's what I got from our phone talks." 

"Thanks for the compliment!" Bokuto beamed. "So, which part or character caught your attention the most?" 

Tsukishima murmured. "Tiresias, I guess." 

"Hmm, why is that?"

"The allegory on the prophecy and blindness was stunning. Oedipus ended up blinding himself, too. In the end, our eyes are really in our way, if we want to get a hold the truth."

"You're right about that, Oedipus' ending monologue was remarkable, too." Bokuto added.

"I... uhh... I'm sorry that I kind of distanced myself from you the past month..." Tsukishima was staring at his feet, otherwise he could die from a severe heart attack. "I sometimes don't know how to deal with certain things and the best option seems to be backing away, rather than saying something stupid."

"I have to butt in, though, you need to be more stupid Tsukki. Okay, you may go on."

"What? Anyway... I really hated myself for stepping back. However I didn't know how I could be involved in your relationship with Kuroo. You are always so close, it's natural since you've been friends longer than me. In addition to that, you live in the same city and now the same house. I felt like I was left out after hearing it all from Hinata. When Kuroo called and I asked him about this issue, he told me about your 'surprise party' idea and invited me to Tokyo for today's play. He wanted to convince me but ended up spilling things about you..."

"Oh shit..." Bokuto sighed, his voice was coarse. "I'll seriously force him into seppuku now. How much did he tell you?" 

"He told me you were having hard time with school and problems with your dad. I forced him into telling me what were those problems but Kuroo said it wouldn't be fair. Then I got angry at you for not telling me anything and shutting me out, though I was actually disgusted with myself, not being able to notice anything was hard on me. Kuroo wanted to keep this as a surprise and I had to keep quiet about it all. Knowing I wouldn't be able to, I started to back away. It was wrong. I should've just talked to you, tried to be there for you as much as I could. Not that it would make a difference... "

"To be honest, my life started going downhill since graduation. Akaashi left the team, I was partly to blame. My dad was, as always, being a nasty asshole. He and my mom divorced a long time ago, yet he was still able to meddle into our lives one way or another. He always opposed my desire to study mathematics, it became worse when I wanted to leave the house. My mother is an amazing woman, if it wasn't for her support I wouldn't be where I am now. She always tried to shield me, though I don't want her to suffer anymore because of me so I try to deal with the asshole within my power. We argued for hours about me moving out and I was extremely furious that I lost track and... ummm..." Bokuto was blushing and his gaze were glued on his fiddling fingers.

"What did you do?" Tsukishima asked, to encourage Bokuto.

"I don't know how you'll take it but hopefully you won't flip out."

"Please, continue."

"I ... haha, uuhh... I came out. As- as in I'm-"

"I know what coming out means, Bokuto-san. " Tsukishima interrupted. If Kuroo were out of the equation, Tsukishima would be jumping up and down hearing this sentence. However, his only gain was to taste pancakes and see two plays out of this trip. He cleared his throat before continuing, he didn't want to sound nervous or agitated. Sadly, he missed the chance to ask about Kuroo and him, Bokuto continued.

"That just poured salt over our wounds. And by that I mean, A LOT OF SALT. After all of this, with classes being hard, having money issues because moving in is a really expensive process, you started being cold and I couldn't take it. I asked Kuroo, hoping maybe you talked to him but now I know why he didn't say anything. I was a real mess, I didn't even style my hair for a week, can you imagine?!"

Tsukishima glared at him and that made Bokuto laugh all the more. He put his hand on Tsukishima's knee, caressed and then squeezed.

"Nevertheless, I feel so grateful having both of you around, please don't say that it won't change anything. Just hearing your voice over the phone helps so much. Helps me get through the day. So, care to tell me what you wanted to talk to us about, it's been bugging me all day!"

"I told you, just some plans I made, not really important. And I may be having second thoughts about them already."

"Don't leave me hanging now! Talk it over and you may find your resolve again. You seemed pretty determined at the tea house."

Tsukishima sighed. He was feeling cornered now that they were alone with Bokuto. He wasn't sure about his plans as he was back then and talking about them aloud was almost the same as carving his words on stone. At least, that's how Tsukishima felt. Nonetheless, he was weak around him.

"You see... I -I thought about applying to universities in Tokyo and had some questions in mind, so I wanted some advice on living expenses or such."

Tsukishima could feel his ears burning even though the weather has gotten pretty cold. He was still looking anywhere and everywhere except Bokuto's way. 

"Tsukki..." Bokuto almost whispered. His cheeks were flushed in the prettiest color, eyes gleaming like gold in the dark. He sounded like he was going to cry. "Do you really mean that? It would be the best thing in the world." he smiled softly. "What made you decide on Tokyo, you said you were okay with any university unless they provided good education?"

Looking Bokuto in the eye was no good for Tsukishima. Just like the first night they were alone, it was almost like Bokuto knew exactly what to say, what to do and when to act. Trapped under the influence of his gaze, Tsukishima was coming undone once more, peeling his layers off and baring himself.

"My feelings." he exhaled. "I love you, Bokuto-san." 

Sometimes, Bokuto's expressions were like an open book and it was in Tsukishima's favor. First, came the shock. Then, he eagerly wanted to say something but deliberately stopped. Tsukishima wanted to make it easier for him.

"I understand that you're together with Kuroo-san and I don't expecting an answer. Sorry for doing something selfish, though you told me to be more stupid, so..."

"Just waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwait, what?!"

"Don't make me say it again, I'm already dying from embarrassment... Aren't you going out with Kuroo-san?" 

"Huuh? No! It's impossible, anyway. Where'd you get that idea?" 

"I saw during the play, you two were -kind of- holding hands and I thought- wait, what do you mean by impossible? You just told me you were gay!"

"We were just playing, Tetsu is always so touchy-feely, he's like that with you too! And I didn't mean it like that, I'm clearly gay and Tetsu is an aromantic, pansexual."

Tsukishima was having hard time following the course. Was he rejected or was he not?

"I've heard about pansexuality but what does 'aromantic' mean exactly?" 

"He doesn't bare romantic feelings towards anyone. I also don't feel anything romantic towards him. Look I..." Bokuto stopped and exhaled. He was gazing upon the stars as if he was expecting some sort of help to go on. He seemed a little nervous, he started bouncing his feet.

"I want to say I love you, too. I really do feel it, for a long time actually but the matter is a bit complicated."

Tsukishima was dying for the 100th time ever since this conversation started. He would do anything to hear something certain. 

"I really want to understand what's going on so could you be more elaborate? I'm seriously dying here."

"Sorry, you're right. So, like I said I don't love Tetsu romantically but we've been doing _this and that_ for a long time... Oh god why is this so hard! I don't know what this makes us, friends with benefits? Only thing I know that we have amazing compatibility. Then you came and I enjoyed your company but my feelings grew gradually throughout our phone talks and occasional meetings in Miyagi. Not knowing how you would respond to my feelings, I left it as it is. Bottom line is; I want to be together with you but a part of me doesn't want to end this physical relationship with Tetsu. It's not like you won't be enough, assuming you'll be willing to do those stuff with me. It's just... different. I'm doing an awful job at explaining, someone kill me please..."

Tsukishima was giving his all to consider what Bokuto said without being judgmental. All these were new to him so he probably was not doing a good job, either. 

"I understand where you come from, Kuroo-san is seriously hot, in my opinion." he agreed.

"Huh?!" Tsukishima's words caught him off guard.

"I see a lot of naked guys in the lockers but I guess his body is the only one made me say 'Wow.'." He was getting smaller and smaller, sinking into his muffler. "Apart from yours, of course..."

"Right??! Like, I know what kind of junk life he leads, that body is seriously god-given. Wait, what?"

"Don't make me say the weirdest parts repeatedly, gosh! Anyways, even though I understand, I'm not sure how to respond to all this. I don't know if I'll be okay with you having a physical relationship with another person. I may or may not; I just can't promise you beforehand. And Kuroo-san also has some say in this, right? We can't just decide things ourselves."

"You're right."

"Thanks for being open about your expectations, Bokuto-san. I highly appreciate it." Tsukishima smiled into the muffler but Bokuto could see his eyes glistening. They were both sitting on their legs, facing each other when Bokuto stood up on his knee and leaned closely on Tsukishima.

"Tsukkiiii." he called softly, as if he was singing. He delicately pushed Tsukishima's muffler down and cupped his cheeks. Just like it was his first time seeing the other, Bokuto's eyes were wandering on Tsukishima's face, studying every centimeter, finally meeting his eyes. "Is it okay?"

Out of excitement, Tsukishima glared and averted his eyes, blushing all the way to his ears. Bokuto giggled at the sight.

" _Sensō-ji_ always brings me luck, after all." 

That single kiss felt heavenly for both of them, one touch of their lips were enough to erase the nervousness, pain and worries. Just like an avalanche, one kiss after another, biting, sliding tongues in and out, tasting each other, either of them could find the courage to step back and catch their breath. A feint melody started to play in Bokuto's pockets; Kuroo was calling. Without withdrawing completely, Bokuto whined on Tsukishima's lips.

"Ngghh, do I really need to do it? Tsukki, tell me not to take it!"

"You know you have to answer it Bokuto-san, he'll be worried. We need to head back too, we're late for dinner." Tsukishima sunk in his muffler again, trying to hide his slightly swollen lips and rose colored cheeks. 

★   ☆   ★

Naturally, Kuroo was agitated. 

"Do you have any idea how worried I was, huuuh?! I tried not calling you and interrupt the conversation, yet you airheads lose track of time and completely forget about me! Both of you owe me a huge favor, now go wash up and get changed into something comfortable. I want you at the table 10 minutes later. Chop chop!"

Kuroo was obviously taking advantage of the situation and enjoyed lecturing them like kids. Since they were the ones at fault, both Bokuto and Tsukishima obeyed Kuroo's demands and soon, they were all sitting around a table. 

"Tetsu, you really exerted yourself. Know that you're loved Tsukki, he never goes wild like this for me." Bokuto pouted.

"If I were to go all out everyday, you wouldn't even be able to get up on your feet, you'd turn into an elephant with that appetite." Kuroo and Tsukishima looked at each other, trying to suppress their laughter.

"At least I'd be cute, look at yourselves. All gangly and... and... not cute! Boooo!" He tried to act like he was protesting but the dinner was so good, it took him only 4 seconds before he had another bite.

They had cream of broccoli soup first, then it was Wiener schnitzel, at which Tsukishima was amazed how he was able to do it from scratch, potato salad with mustard vinaigrette and various other side dishes like steamed vegetables, risotto and simmered carrots mixed with garlic mayonnaise. 

"Kuroo-san, after this I might not be able to eat my mother's cooking, it's extremely tasty!"

"Ooh, I'm glad you like it. You know you're welcome here anytime you want." 

"Or better yet, " Bokuto added, "get accepted into a university here and we can share moments like this anytime!"

After that, for the next two hours, Kuroo and Bokuto answered Tsukishima's questions about Tokyo, managing to squeeze in a silly argument on which university Tsukishima should attend to; Kuroo's or Bokuto's? Bokuto was forced to accept that Kuroo had the upper hand: a close friend called Hanamaki, studying literature at the same university. It would be easy for Tsukishima and Hanamaki to start a conversation since he was previously playing in Aoba Jousai. Kuroo messaged his friend to check if he was free tomorrow afternoon and got a positive answer. Everything was settled when Bokuto boldly started another conversation.

 "By the way, Tokyo plans weren't the only thing we discussed with Tsukki today." And that made Tsukishima spurt out his iced tea.

" 'By the way'? Is that how you open up an important topic?"

"Oi, that was supposed to be smooth, okay? And we agreed on talking about this with Kuroo, remember." Bokuto retorted. 

"Hm? You wanted to talk to me, too? What's it about?" 

Tsukishima was feeling invincible after the spectacular moment they shared, no matter what the outcome would be, positive or negative, he didn't want to drag this anymore.

"I confessed to Bokuto-san today." he said, with a straight face. Kuroo wasn't sure about which part he was surprised about; Tsukishima's confession or his straight face.

"I thought I would get it out of my chest and get rejected properly, assuming you two were going out. Though, he assured me that you were not."

"Oh that's right. Aand...?"

"And we're in a situation where he doesn't want to let go of your physical contact, whereas I'm not sure if I would be okay with that, I can't seem to promise now."

"You wanted to talk to me about it because...?"

"Aren't you the third parameter here?" Tsukishima looked over his glasses over Kuroo. He crossed his arms and gave Tsukishima's words a thought while humming meaningless sounds.

"In the end, I think it's not really about me." Kuroo finally spoke. "You are the ones who'll decide if you're going to be tied to each other or not, while I don't feel that kind of attachment. It's true that Bambi and I have so much fun in bed and I wouldn't want to give up on that however, if he'd say he wanted to stop, of course we'd stop. You should be the ones to determine what kind of relationship you want."

The room went silent all of a sudden. Kuroo got up and stretched.

"Thanks to you ungrateful kids, I had to prepare everything all by myself, I'm tired as hell. I'm hitting the bed early and wake me up when you get up, don't forget we have places to go, Tinker Bell. Have a good night!"

Bokuto and Tsukishima sat next to each other without a word for a long time.Both were lost in their own thoughts so much that Bokuto even forgot he was holding a glass. Loud and full sound it made on the ground was like a wake up call.

"Glad that it's not broken." Tsukishima grabbed the glass and head over the kitchen.  

"Yeah, I didn't feel like cleaning now."

"If you don't want to get killed in your sleep by Kuroo-san, you should be careful about these things." Tsukishima laughed, sneakily. Bokuto joined him, leaning next to Tsukishima over the counter. 

"Tsukki, I have a proposition." 

"I'm listening."

"After all, I love you so much and don't want to lose this chance. How about we just start and see things as we go along? You said it yourself that you weren't sure about accepting this or not; meaning there is a possibility, right? It would be such a waste to throw away good times that may come our way, thinking about worst case scenarios. I know you feel safer when you think things through beforehand but what do you say?"

"I'm not really sure..." Tsukishima mumbled. A part of him was screaming, urging him to accept it, he also couldn't help but pressing the breaks, trying not to be rash. Bokuto shifted himself on Tsukishima, hands on the counter again, pinning him. Tsukishima could see the carnivorous in him through the gaze locked on his eyes.

"Maybe I should remind you your boner from last night, Tsukki." he whispered mischievously, chuckling. "Or the fact that you cried in desperation after assuming me and Kuroo were going out."

"Why do you bring up all this, are you making fun of my feelings?" Tsukishima's blood was boiling, however he wasn't able to tell apart if it was from the distance between them or just anger.

"On the contrary, I feel the same! The intensity of your gaze, wandering on my body was unbearable, Tsukki. I could barely hold it from touching myself before sleeping.  What about you, did you take care of yourself or slept it off?" 

What's unbearable was this torture, what kind of answer Bokuto was expecting from him? Getting extremely flustered, only thing Tsukishima did was to avert his eyes. Bokuto was already in a very dangerous zone, lips lightly threading along his neck, breath tingling his whole body.

"Ahh, what an honest answer Tsukki. But maybe-" he took Tsukishima's hand and first put on his ass, slowly sliding it down to his right thigh. "-you preferred touching this, rather than your dick? You looked like you were going to eat me alive, you liked my tattoo that much?"

Tsukishima was once more in the perverted wonderland but this time, Bokuto was physically right on top of him, testing his limits. The hand that was gliding on Bokuto's thigh a second ago, now was in his hands, fingers locked tightly. With a swift movement, Bokuto turned Tsukishima's head with his free hand to face him.

"I'll ask once again and for all, is it alright?" He had a desparate smile on his lips.

Tsukishima had hard time being direct with his words, so he wrapped his arms around Bokuto's waist and pressed their hips together. 

"Oohh, I might get hooked on this version of you!" Bokuto laughed in excitement.

It was Tsukishima's turn to smirk at the other.

"Yeah, that's the plan."

"You know what, I'll kill you! With my smooches of course, mwahah!"

Bokuto grabbed Tsukishima by the thighs and placed him on his lap, carrying his best friend, and now his lover, to bed.

"If you don't cut back on the lame puns, I'll immediately change my decision."

"Too bad baby, you should've known long before, that's what you've signed up for."

Tsukishima had no comeback this time, apart from wrapping his arms around Bokuto and kissing him deeply.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeaah the ending! Next chapter will be like an extra, picking up from where I left now (in other words, smuuut!). 
> 
> Now the image I had in mind before starting is completed, I hope I was able to convey it well enough. The advice Bokuto gave to Tsukishima in 3rd gym holds a dear place in my heart and I find mentor/disciple interaction precious, seems like a link above anything else, between two people. In the end, Tsukishima clearly realizes that Bokuto is his 'prophet', guiding him and holding the key to Tsukishima's salvation at his hands. Indeed, Tsukishima's eyes were in his way of seeing the truth, be it with his brother or with Kuroo. Bokuto opens the path and helps Tsukishima to function in his best capacity. 
> 
> Summary of the play :
> 
> Oedipus the King, also known by its Latin title Oedipus Rex, is an Athenian tragedy by Sophocles that was first performed around 429 BC. Of his three Theban Plays that deal with Oedipus, Oedipus the King was the second to be written. However, in terms of the chronology of events that the plays describe, it comes first, followed by Oedipus at Colonus and then Antigone.
> 
> The tragedy tells the story of Oedipus, a man who becomes the king of Thebes, while unwittingly fulfilling a prophecy that he would kill his father, Laius, and marry his mother, Jocasta. (got too lazy writing my own version, taken from Wikipedia. I'll rewise it later on.)


End file.
